Friday, April 11, 2014

Goats Strike Back!: The Bleating Goat Meme is Revived Thanks to "GAME OF GOATS (Game of Thrones Goat Version)"...Kim Kardashian, Hermione Granger, Sloths, Tourettes Guy, and Stewie from "Family Guy" are also discussed

NEW!  Hermione Granger knocks Kim Kardashian out of her chair with magic wand gif

Welcome back!  Every week I try to bring you all some exciting news that will knock you out of your chairs.  I know there is always something important going on around the world, and thusly on the internets as well...  but I struggled mightily to find a compelling topic to write about this week.

Then a miracle occurred.  It was brought to my attention that that goat mania was back and in full force, spreading like a case of wild mumps (although a very amusing case of the wild mumps) across the tubes of the internets.

sloths and goats show their support for me in this poster

So I immediately went to the library of the Jimmy Fungus Institute for Advanced Studies and Also For Learning to see what goat memes I had left over... ones that I had not used yet...

Rowan Atkinson speaking of living as a goat on "The Black Adder" I think (via the internets)
Sadly, this was the only goat related meme type thingamajig I had left.

  However, did you know that my most successful youtube video of all time is goat themed...?

NEW Tourettes Guy "I don't give a sh*t" reaction gif

 That's right!  So, what I will do is post the new video sensation "GAME OF GOATS (Game of Thrones Goat Version)", and the I will post MY video (which was hosted by the most highly esteemed Lord Throckmorton Fungusleaves), so that you can enjoy them consecutively.

GAME OF GOATS (Game of Thrones Goat Version)

Game of Goats (a response by the highly esteemed Lord Throckmorton Fungusleaves)

INTERESTING sloth meme (NEW!)

Alright, kids.  I hope you found all of that sufficiently interesting, because that's all I have for you this week.

Once again, God bless you all, and please remember to support your local zoo.

brand spankin' NEW Ted blows a kiss to Stewie from Family Guy meme

Stay classy, Chicago!

Friday, April 4, 2014

Ellen DeGeneres' Mystery Girl Takes the Internet by Storm (ALSO David Letterman Retiring)

cat accidentally summons Satan gif

Welcome back, true believers.  You have no idea what I went through to do the proper research for today's post.  Despite the vastness of the many tubes of the internets, I still had the most collosal of an enormity of a super difficult time trying to track down the right information.  In one dark moment of despair, I even considered attempting to contact the Dark Lords and asking them for a helpful lead...

the Dark Lords

All this turmoil began when I kept seeing this girl everywhere all over the internet... you've probably seen her too.  She's like the new Overly Attached Girlfriend, or something.  But more to the point... WHO IS SHE??


Here's what my painstaking investigation turned up.  The girl is featured in a tweet on Ellen DeGeneres' twitter account... SEE:  "my face when I see someone tweeting but hasn't replied to my texts."  Ellen's tweet was then retweeted by actress Emma Roberts and from there, the young lass's fame began spreading across the internets like a great cannonball of fire.

(This is just a little aside, but Ellen DeGeneres is one of the most powerful, if not THE most powerful person on the internets.  Remember that Oscar selfie she posted on twitter that instantaneously went viral?  Thankfully, she uses her influence mostly for good, and doesn't go around making smartass tweets, and talking sh*t about people, as many others sadly do.)


But I know what you are all thinking to yourselves now.  You are saying, "That still doesn't tell us WHO SHE IS!"  Okay, hold onto your potatoes, I have a real bombshell for you... 

This girl is none other than Justin Bieber's new girlfriend!

Justin Bieber and his new mystery girl

That was writer's embellishment.  She's not really Justin Bieber's new girlfriend, and journalistically speaking I would never allow such misinformation to be reported here on this website...

Because this is JimmyFungus.com where we report only the hard news, and not just a bunch of bullcrap like the rest of the news media shovels in your face, day in and day out.

at JimmyFungus.com we only give you the hard news, the REAL news...  not a bunch of bullcrap like the rest of the news media

Alrighty then, I probably at this point could call it a day...  I have given you a thrilling, exciting news story about a mysterious mystery girl from the internets.  But that's what the amateur news reporter would do.  Here at JimmyFungus.com we press on...

So don't run away yet, I have one more explosive revelation for you...

dinosaur attack gif

It seems that David Letterman the host of the Late Show, or the Late Late Show, or whatever it's called, is retiring.  SEE:  David Letterman Announces his Retirement

I personally will remember him more for the work he did as an actor. (He had roles in the movie "Cabin Boy" as well as in the NBC after school special "Boy With a Migraine.")

that was more writer's embellishment, "Boy With a Migraine" was a skit on Late Night with David Letterman

Ok...wow.. whoa .. woo wee.  At this point I am pretty winded and getting a migraine myself.  So, let's wind it up and take a hike.

Spongebob Squarepants - dog - babby meme (via the internets)

Once again, God bless you all and please remember to support your local zoo.

Stay classy, Chicago!

Friday, March 28, 2014

The Internet Attacks "Nice Guys" and Adventure Time Attacks "Bronies" (ALSO: Grumpy Old Men and Frightened Bunnies)

Garbage Pail Kids fart gif

Hello again, true believers.  There is something rotten on the internets.  Yes.  Something stinks to high heaven and for once it's not me.

Usually, the only place I can turn to for any solace whatsoever, to escape the endless pain and misery which is my everyday life, IS The Internets.  But now I can not even count on that anymore.  I signed onto the internets the other day and felt like I had taken a wrong turn into a bad neighborhood where I was not welcome at all.


And who is behind this but none other than the cool and beautiful people.  THESE ARE THE PEOPLE THAT ARE NOT EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE ON THE INTERNETS TO BEGIN WITH BECAUSE THEY HAVE LIVES!

Here...  Let me show you what I'm talking about.  Check this out:  Adventure time sums up the “nice guy” trope in a nutshell

Adventure Time evidently has subliminal messages attacking "nice guys" and bronies in their showgram

Now,  I thought the writers of Adventure Time were just poking fun at this particular character in this scene, but apparently there is an underlying deep meaning that I missed.  It appears some people think that Adventure Time is waging a secret subliminal propaganda campaign against not only "nice guys", but they also have dragged the "bronies" into this.  (I would especially like to hear what Mark of http://theramblingperson.com has to say about THAT!)

But it's not just happening on tumblr and the Cartoon Network,  but there is also a growing anti-"nice guy" movement at youtube.  Just watch this video by this whathisface vloggerr guy the1janitor  You're Probably Not Really a Nice Guy...or don't waste your time watching it, if you have better things to do, because I will just tell you about it...

the1janitor vs.  Cookie Monster

The1janitor posted this video some time ago actually, but since then it has gone viral, and has spread all over the internets like the bubonic plague.  It's a somewhat rambling commentary, but basically the gist of the1janitor's argument is that "nice guys" are only "nice" because they are filled with insecurity and self-doubt, and they are trying to bribe people to be nice back to them through their kind acts because that is the only hope their lame asses have of ever getting any friends.  So, they are not really "nice guys", they are a$$holes...  according to him.

I'll just leave this right here

But you know what really grinds my gears?   Not only do these cool folks have to to take a dump on "nice guys" (who always finish last anyway),  but they have to actually go through the trouble of turning it into an actual movement, creating videos and gifs, and spreading them around and making them go viral all across the interwebs.  I mean, seriously, do these people have nothing better to do with their damn time??  I mean COME ON!!

I tell ya what...   this really rustles my jimmies like they haven't been rustled in awhile.

NOBODY RUSTLES MY JIMMYCHANGAS  (this was sent to me by Alina at http://twitter.com/livefastbealina) and created by an unknown genius)

Okay, enough about nice guys, let's talk about grumpy old men.  (If that wasn't a perfect segue I don't know what is.)

brand new Wilford Brimley meme

It's a long story, but somehow I stumbled upon an interview with legendary actor Klaus Kinski (who starred in the classic motion picture AGUIRRE, THE WRATH OF GOD).  So if you are a "nice guy" and want to learn how to stop doing that before you get rounded up and thrown in a concentration camp by this new movement, then you can see a perfect display of not being a nice guy in this video here:  Klaus Kinski Interview and Tantrum in the Park.

In fact, I even made this gif for you, if you are too busy to watch the video.  (It's about time someone made some Klaus Kinski gifs already, dontcha think?)

Klaus Kinski scares bunnies gif

But wait, it get's better!  Wilford Brimley is also going to give us a course in how to live the gangsta lifestyle with his big hit "Ice Ice Brimely" posted by Longarm0malley at youtube.  Play us out, Wilford!

Once again, thank you, and please remember support your local zoo...

bunny rabbit eating a leaf gif (via the internets)

Stay classy, Chicago!