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Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Did Michael Jackson Fake His Death? (also Daxflame found alive; the Demon Lord Picklejar, and Chris Humphrey still missing)

During his life, Michael Jackson, pop music superstar, and a genius of the highest caliber, often spoke of the "horrible, HORRIBLE mass media" and it's diabolical efforts to exploit him at every turn. Well, it looks as though the gosh darn media just won't stop doggin' him around with the latest hoax which briefly gave a glimmer of hope that the King of Pop was still with us. (See B96 Blog » Blog Archive » Michael Jackson Walking Out of Coroner’s Van??? )

The video in question seems to be footage of Michael Jackson being escorted, still very much alive, from a coroner's van. To paraphrase the Demon Lord Picklejar, the grand archduke of hell in the Service of Satan (more about him in a bit),...the amateur journalist would stop there, and say, "There it is! Michael Jackson is still alive! We have video footage of the King of Pop still alive. That's all we need. Let's run with it." Yes, that's what the AMATEUR journalist would say... But NO, the journalistic EXPERT goes on...and leaves no stone left unturned in order to find out the real truth. As it were, this video was quickly revealed to be a HOAX! (See:Hoax Video Seems To Show Michael Jackson Climbing Out Of Coroner's Van digtr ) "A hoax video that seems to show Michael Jackson climbing out of a coroner's van was an experiment aimed at showing how conspiracy theories can spread across the Internet. The video was posted by the German broadcaster RTL for just one day and got 880,000 hits. A spokesman for RTL says the response was breathtaking." It appears we were being used as guinea pigs, in a little experiment being conducted by German scientists (who also are given credit for inventing the x-ray specs sold in comic books, and most of the stuff seen in late night info-mercials). Apparently, these experimenters wanted to show how quickly we gullible humans would gobble up a juicy bit of conspiratorial gossip, and make goofs of ourselves. Those Germans certainly showed us, didn't they! But I digress...

Now that I've dashed your hopes to Hell, by proving that Michael Jackson unfortunately is still dead, I am going to raise them right back up to Heaven! Daxflame, youtube hero of gigantimous proportions and genius of the highest caliber, who has been mostly missing in action the past several months, is BACK, starring in a video produced by The Station. If you don't know what The Station is, it appears that some of the most powerful FORCES at youtube have...umm, joined FORCES, to create a youtube channel that is proving to be an ummm..mighty FORCE. If you thought that last sentence was redundant you'd be right; but if you thought Daxflame's 15 minutes of fame were up, you would be very, very wrong, you fool... Because this new Daxflame vehicle is entitled "A Day in the Life of Daxflame", and it is all about him, although appearances are also made by Kassem G, and the stunningly beautiful Lisa Nova.

So why was Daxflame in hiding? Was he really working on a motion picture?

Or was he hiding from this creature? His name is Lord Picklejar, the demon from Hell who invented youtube, and a genius of the highest caliber. (See YouTube - Great Lectures in Evil for more information.)

ColPicklejar's first youtube vid was this response to Dax's vid "Daxflame Torture Chamber" and is intimidating to say the least. "I saw this kid the other day...Daxflame??? He's weird! He's a weird kid!" Picklejar furiously bloviates. "Daxflame, you are disturbing the natural order of things, and ruining MY vision. As you can see I am upset.. (But) youtube will be evil again!.. (Daxflame) your days are numbered! The end is near! In the name of Evil!!! In the name of Satan!!! I will make it happen!!!" Now, such a devilish proclamation would frighten even someone very brave like...umm, well I don't know... Who's brave? An Eskimo? Ok, an Eskimo. Such a devilish proclamation would frighten even the bravest Eskimo, much less a sensitive actor, and performance artist like Daxflame. See the video below, and see what I am talking about here, people:

But strangely, Lord Picklejar has also seemingly disappeared from youtube, not making a video since March that I am aware of. And he is not the only one...

We also have the curious case of Chris Humphrey, a youtube political commentator, and a genius of the highest caliber (See YouTube - cwajh's Channel) . Chris rocketed to youtube fame when one of his political videos was featured on the front page of youtube. (See Funguzz Vizzion: Chris Humphrey Gives Us Answers) Whether this was a blessing or a curse remains to be seen, as Chris Humphrey only made one more video, and then vanished at a very inopportune time...the run up to the 2008 presidential election. The absence of Chris Humphrey's political commentary at such a crucial juncture in our nation's history was enough to make his fans like me want to throw up. Luckily, many of Chris's remarks (not only on politics but on other burning issues) have been preserved in memoriam on youtube, like in this video posted by rebeccaandmarlon in which Chris answers the question "What is art?"

Now at this point you are probably saying, "Why are you telling us these things, Jimmy Fungus?? Ok, the Michael Jackson hoax story was interesting, and the Daxflame video was funny..but why segway into ColPicklejar, and Chris Humphrey? Why?? In God's name why???"

Well, I don't know the exact parameters of the reach or power of this blog (though I have been getting some pretty substantial hate mail from New Zealand), but I would like to suggest that you, the gentle reader of, go to ColPicklejar and Chris Humprey's repsective youtube accounts (AGAIN SEE: YouTube - ColPicklejar's Channel, YouTube - cwajh's Channel) and ask, DEMAND, that they come back and start making videos again. And please, tell your friends, family, co-workers, and reasonably articulate pets, to do the same.

You have been reading Funguzz Vizzion, aka Once again, God bless you, and thank you for your support.


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