|"I understand your frustration." ~ Beavis|
Way back in this golden era of the internet, when facethejury.com was cool (at this time in human history, Oasis was the biggest band in the world, and all the girls were wearing their hair like Monica Lewinsky) "face the germs" as I so affectionately call it, became one of the first websites that I declared a vendetta against. I decided to try out this new juggernaut of social networking, and start an account. Unfortunately, I received probably the lowest rating from the facethejury "jury" in the history of the website. In a fit of rage, I tried to cancel my membership, but all my attempts at cancellation were ignored...until I posted a picture of a jar of Jiffy peanut butter as my default pic, for which this act of insubordination my account was summarily suspended.
Fast forward to 2012 (the last year of human history according to my trusty Mayan callendar), and I was surprised to discover that facethejury was still around in much the same form it always had been. So, I figured I would join up and use their extremely popular forums to dispense some "freedom information" about Funguzz Vizzion endorsed Independent presidential candidate Abraham Fungus Jr.,... as I figured based on my prior experience, the other features of the site would not be of much use to me. Much to my delight, when I tried to log in a few days later, my rating from the facethejury "jury" was a score of a PERFECT 10! Well, how exciting.
However, this joyousness did not last very long...for this morning when I tried to log in...I received this message, evidently from whoever has been running the site for "the last 6 years" and he/she was not in a mood to be trifled with:
"I no longer have the time nor inclination to deal with the constant squabbling that goes on between the members of this site. I realize that for many of you, FaceTheJury.com is 99% of your lives. Unfortunately for you, it is only 1% of mine. Deciding who's right, who's wrong, who's giving out who's personal information, who's broke who's heart and which moderator is playing favorites is laughable to me. I figured by now, most of you being in your mid 20s would have grown out of this. You haven't. So, as with most things in life, the attention craving few have ruined things for the somewhat realistic many. I'm inclined to shutdown the site entirely. It's existence hasn't mattered to me one way or the other for the last 6 years. I kept it running because I felt I was giving you guys a place to continue to talk with your friends.
I think the best solution is to turn the site into a private, invite only site. If you'd like to continue to be a part of it, great. If not, that's fine too. For now, I'll only accept existing accounts. At some later point in time, perhaps I'll start allowing new accounts on an approval basis only, or give existing members invite codes to allow others to join. Most of you will of course be accepted no questions asked. Some of you, probably won't."
And then to add insult to injury (yet another humiliating kick in the crotch) there was absolutely no guarantee I would be able to ever use the site again!
Oh my, I think this is the most stinging rebuke I have received on the internets, since I received that angry e-mail from Dr. James White. (Actually, it was one of his assistants..or..well, it was someone who sent me a grumpy e-mail anyway.) Well, that sucks!...or does it??? What a great opportunity for jimmyfungus.com!
So, let me make this formal announcement to the "attention craving few", who have been roundly rejected by facethejury.com staff and thrown into the streets of "reality" to fend for themselves... You are cordially invited to turn jimmyfungus.com into "99% of your lives." Feel free to whine, bicker, and squabble in the comments section as much as you want...24 hours a day, 7 days a week, for the rest of your lives...if nescessary. Take the flying leap...committ FUNGICIDE! DO IT!
Alright, alright...enough of this insanity...let's play ourselves out with a song...