Saturday, August 11, 2012

Mitt Romney Choo Choo Chooses Paul Ryan to be his Running Mate (Independent Presidential candidate Abraham Fungus Jr. is not impressed)

that post gave Spiderman cancer
I know not that many people love to read my political posts...but come on...it's not going to be that bad.  Besides there is some pretty big news today, and I would be journalistically remiss if I didn't mention it.  It seems Mitt Romney has finally chosen his running mate, and it has shaken up the political world.  Being the investigative reporter that I am, I am going to report on it even though almost no one reads my political stories, unless I include a picture of ancient aliens expert Giorgio Tsoukalos.  And the even worse news is, I am all out of pictures of Giorgio Tsoukalos.

here is a pic of Bad Luck Brian, since I am all out of pics of Giorgio Tsoukalos

So Mitt Romney chooses Wisconsin congressman Paul Ryan, a favorite of the Tea Party to be his running mate, and here is my quick analysis:  It seems like the Romney team is employing the old Karl Rove strategy of firing up the base to win an election.  If Romney was holding out any hope of winning this election with the moderates, or the people on the fences that could go either way, he would have picked someone drab and inoffensive like Tim Pawlenty.  Or he would have picked a woman, or an African Amercan, or at least someone who wasn't a white dude exactly like himself.  Romney seems to be writing off the middle.  He is expecting a close election, and he is hoping to win it by firing up the true believers.   (Pssst by the way..  read my article Hot Problems 2 "Like a Princess": the Double Take girls make a new music video AND decide to run for president; ALSO Mitt Romney's running mate (our first ever episode of "who is it?" in the history of this website) to see a list of choices for Romney's vp that would have been a lot better than Paul Ryan.)

Mitt Romney, Paul Ryan, and Unimpressed McKayla Maroney


Enough of what I think...what does JimmyFungus.com endorsed Independent presidential candidate Abraham Fungus Jr. think of all this.  Just check out the video below to find out...



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Orson Welles' hand clapping gif


Orson Welles seems to be impressed with Abraham Fungus Jr.s statement...


If Romney's strategy backfires, President Obama will be doing some applauding of his own.


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President Obama clapping gif


Well, dear friends, that's all I have for you today.  Once again thank you and please remember to support your local zoo.
Stay classy, Chicago.

10 comments:

  1. Yeah. I'm pretty sure Romney has just screwed himself out of the presidency. He honestly should have chosen someone a little more interesting.

    I know that my east Texan conservative grandparents are apeshit about Romney, and by him picking the whitest, boringest person in 'Muricah they've pretty much peed their pants with excitement. It's a good thing they wear Depends.

    Also, with some Obamacare perks already in place such as free annual check-ups for children and investments in women's health (as well as a ton of other things) I think the middle class conservatives will re-think casting their vote for Romney.

    I guess it's safe to say that unless Obama majorly screws up between now and the elections, he'll be guaranteed another term.

    p.s. I like political posts.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But you haven't weighed in Abraham Fungus Jr.'s Independent candidacy. Once Abraham's hat is in the ring, NOTHING is a sure thing.

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  2. If I had the vote I'd definitely vote for Fungus, so it's just as well I don't have the vote. Is it true that both Mitt Romney and Donny Osmond are Mormons? Makes me wonder about all the stuff going on behind the scenes.

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  3. Is it bad that I rely on this blog for american politics updates?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well...JimmyFungus.com IS the most informative website on all of the internets.

      Delete
  4. Ah my friend... I agree he could have made a better choice to win votes, but you have to admit that a mormon that has business sense has a better chance at bringing the economy back to where it should be, considering his experience, than a muslim that spends millions of tax dollars on multiple expensive vacations. Not trying to start crap. Jounalistically though it had to be said. :) Love ya man. I'd vote for Abraham Fungus Jr also. Sounds like a good independent choice.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't start up, crap! Just kidding. Religion should not be an issue in this campaign. I believe Abraham Fungus Jr. is a member of the Universal Church of the Cosmic Light People.

      Delete
  5. I'm voting for Abraham Fungus Jr.! All 500,000 of my votes! But being Canadian, they don't equal even a fraction of one vote in the USA... but I'm suporting him in spirit! (that counts right?)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Every little bit counts. As Warren Zevon once said, "Enjoy every sandwich."

      Delete

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