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Monday, September 24, 2012

Decision 2012: Wake Me Up When November Ends (Also, I give Mitt Romney advice on how to reboot his campaign)

Homer Simpson voting in the 2012 election for Barack Obama or Mitt Romney? (via The Simpsons)

Coming up on November whatever is the exciting American presidential election.

And America will attempt to make a decision which will hopefully move the country forward...

George Washington driving a Dodge in "Freedom" World Cup commercial (via lillianjessica.tumblr)

Most of the "experts" in the media have President Obama comfortably leading the challenger Mitt Romney, with his reelection chances looking quite good. Yes, the president is being portrayed as one major badass, and a pretty smooth least for now.

"Sorry it took so long to get you a copy of my birth certificate..."  President Obama too busy killing Osama bin Laden for FOX news.

You see... all hell broke loose, when a supposedly secretly taped video of Romney characterizing "47%" of the American public, in a way that was...not so nice.  His comments are being interpreted by many, including some on his side of the political spectrum, as an indication that he is out of touch...that he views almost half the American people in the same way Mr. Burns on FOX's  "The Simpsons" would view them (as boneheaded slackers looking for a handout).

"THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY" meme ~ Ron Burgundy/Will Ferrell

Whether the Romney in the video tape, was the real Mitt Romney, or whether he was just telling some wealthy donors what they wanted to hear, is hard to say.  But after the fallout from this vid, Mitt Romney is discovering that "shit happens" even to famous rich guys...

Randy Marsha of "South Park"..."SHIT HAPPENS." (newly invented meme)

So how can Mitt Romney change the course of his campaign at this late stage?

Randy Marsh of "South Park" CHANGE poster (created by an unknown genius)

So, what advice can I, James Earl Fungus I, offer to Republican nominee Mitt Romney (because I know he is wondering what I think)?

If I could go back in a time machine, I would tell him to never say anything in private he would not want to be heard saying in public...


But it is too late for that, then isn't it?

So, the questions is...what can be done right NOW?

Well, I think the only hope is for Mitt to somehow miraculously transform his image from an elitist, snobby rich guy, to a laid back, quasi-compassionate, man of the people.  Show us he can hob-knob with average Joe Bagadonuts American.  Show us he has a sense of humor.

"I HAD FUN ONCE AND IT WAS AWFUL." ~ Mitt Romney version

Mitt needs to let loose and have some fun.  Maybe even do something crazy, like let the family dog ride in the front seat of the car, instead of on the roof.

Other than that, I don't know what Mitt Romney can do.  He has pretty much screwed himself by opening his big mouth at the fundraiser with those hoighty-toighty rich donors.

Oh well.  Now for something, a little bit different...

Also, coming out in November is "Lincoln" directed by Steven Spielberg, and starring Daniel Day-Lewis as Abraham Lincoln.  I am really looking forward to this movie, so I figured today, instead of ending with the Song of the Day, we will end with the movie trailer of the day.  So without further ado, here it is...

Once again, true believers, God bless you, and please remember to support your local zoo.

Stay classy, Chicago!


  1. Well after the NDAA fiasco (bye bye human rights!) Obama is in a sticky situation too. Frankly I don't want either of them to win. I find Romney to be an evil aristocrat who is out of touch with everyone who doesn't possess an amount of money larger than a million, and Obama to be a lying hypocrite. Then again, like South Park side, sometimes you just have to choose between a giant douche and a turd sandwich.

    1. Mark, there is always an outside miraculous chance that Independent presidential candidate Abraham Fungus Jr. will snatch victory from the jaws of defeat.

  2. Eh, Romney has screwed himself over so hard, I don't even think blue collar Republicans can stand to look at him anymore. Ah, well, you never know for sure until all the ballots are counted.

    Also, I'm really excited about that Lincoln movie. Did I spot Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Tommy Lee Jones in it? I hope so.

    1. Yessum, Spaz. Tommy Lee Jones plays Thaddeus Stevens, and I dono who Gordon-Levitt plays...looks like he is a Union soldier.

  3. Meh, Spielberg is too sentimental to make a movie about Lincoln. He's going to make him look like a worthy saint instead of the shrewd, witty, cool-headed dude he was. My favourite Lincoln quote is about a woman he saw again after a long absence:
    "I knew she was over-size, but she now appeared a fair match for Falstaff."

    1. Gorilla,....Oh, that Lincoln! No wonder a character in Peanuts is named in his honor.

    2. Oops...actually, I was thinking of "Franklin."

  4. I can't wait for the elections to be over, so they stop bothering us in Ireland with it!!

    If you want to giggle a bit at Mitt, have a look at the Bad Lip Reading video, they are class:

    1. Poke the Rock, I think the Bad Lip Reading Mitt would have a better chance at victory.

  5. While your advice is spot on, I still think Romeny is toast. Which, to me, is a good thing. I never liked him anyways. I mean, how many times can I borrow money from "mommy and daddy" like he suggested? I think, none!!

    P.S. I finally hacked through google's messed up mind and figured out how to get R&W back.. Woo hoo!!!

    1. Jax, thank God. My heart sank when I saw was gone.

  6. The "shit happens" relates too perfectly with the image man trolololol

  7. not an american but definitely supporting Mr.Obama, I love the way you write, pal,you have an amazing taste in both humor and sarcasm :)

  8. haha...romney would benefit significantly from appointing you as his campaign advisor.




Watch ILLUMINATI UNDER INVESTIGATION with Shepard Steele on Jimmy Fungus's Youtube!