Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Anti-Bullying Month Kicks Off With Two Most Unfortunate Events (also, an important essay from the highly esteemed Lord Throckmorton Fungusleaves)

"SERIOUS BUSINESS" meme starring Chloe Moretz (found on the internets)

Guess what, kids!?  It's anti-bullying month.  Or at least that's what Jennifer Livingston told me (more on her later).  Yes, I know it's hard for many of you to believe, but I have been a pathetic, dorkiful loser virtually my entire life ("dorkiful" - I just made that word up right now...yeah, cool), so I am no stranger to the cold, calculated torment that bullies can inflict onto a person such as me. 


"Stop Bullying at School" comic strip created by myrealname at stopbullying.bitstrips.com

No, no...bullying is not good.  If it were running for office I would vote against it.  But as Lord Throckmorton Fungusleaves (more on him later) would say, "That is neither here, nor there."  Because our next topic is vaguely related to this anti-bullying business, but I have to talk about it now, because when the holy heck will I ever get around to it again right?  Am I right?   Yeeeaaah.


 
George Dalmon and Andy Miles were banned from Mongolian buffet restaurant for "eating like pigs"

Our next enthralling story, comes to us via the British newspaper "The Telegraph."  (SEE Pair banned from all-you-can-eat restaurant for eating too much )  It sounds like a subplot to one of the worst episodes of "The Simpsons" ever, but these two lads, George Dalmon and Andy Miles, were kicked out of a Mongolian barbeque buffet restaurant for eating too much.  The manager of the restaurant referred to these gentlemen as a "couple of pigs", saying, "Basically they just come in and pig out.  We've had to put up with them for a couple of years, but I've had enough."

OH GOD WHY

How can something like this happen in America??  Oh yeah, that's right...it happened in the United Kingdom.
THANK GOD.

Now back to our bullying story...

Jennifer Livingston of WKBT in La Crosse, Wisconsin


Have you all heard about Jennifer Livingston, the WKBT news anchor who got a nasty e-mail from some bully regarding her physical appearance?  Well, this video below will explain it...



Jennifer didn't name who the turd slurper that sent her that e-mail was, but I have a sneaking suspicion it was...


Mitt Romney wearing a no fat chicks t-shirt

No, no just kidding.  But anyway, the point is, we need a more compassionate country... and world, for that matter.  Heavyweight boxing champion George Foreman once said, "Compassion goes in and out of style" when explaining his success was the by-product of a "compassionate America."  We need compassion to come back into style.  Oh yeah.


"You're mean. Go away." meme

But how do we achieve this goal of creating a kinder, more compassionate world?  The honorable Lord Throckmorton Fungusleaves has a few idears.  Check out the video below...




Thank you Lord Throckmorton, and thank YOU, gentle reader.

God bless you all, and please remember to support your local zoo.

Stay classy, Chicago!

4 comments:

  1. I give Jennifer my full support and a pat on the butt if she wants one, but the pigs in the Mongolian restaurant deserved to get banned for their gluttony, which is a deadly sin. The other bad thing about them is that they're such charmless dorks. Boss Hogg of Dukes of Hazard would never get banned from an eat-as-much-as-you-like diner because he had style.

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    Replies
    1. Gorilla, I never would have dreamed of correlating Boss Hog to the Jennifer Livingston story, but that's why JimmyFungus.com has the BEST commenters on all of the internets!

      Delete
  2. Bullying is dumb.

    I never had the misfortune of being bullied in school because I was a very tough cookie, and if people were mean to me, I was 20 times more mean back.

    And lolz at the Mitt Romney picture. I seriously hope it shows up on someone's google search of him.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If someone happens to do a google image search for "Mitt Romney wearing a no fat chicks t-shirt", it will... however unlikely that may be.

      Delete

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