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Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Post-Election Extravaganza: It's Over for "Bronco Bamma" and Mitt Romney

Abigael got sick to death of hearing about "Bronco Bamma" and Mitt Romney
So, it came to pass that this little girl became the poster child for the 2012 Election Campaign.  (SEE:  Tired of Bronco Bamma and Mitt Romney)  Luckily for her AND us, our long national nightmare is finally over, and there has been yet another peaceful transition of power.  Well, NO, actually that is wrong.  We are in exactly the same place we were before the major political parties spent a gorillion billion dollars (money that could have been spent on ohh say cancer research, education, 30 trillion pizzas and 900 billion gallons of Dr. Pepper...anything would be better than THIS) on "getting their message out."  The House is Republican, and "the Prez" and Senate...Democrats.  Exactly where we started from.

Bad Luck Brian

Anywho, our very own endorsed Independent presidential candidate Abraham Fungus Jr.  broached a very good idea to me today.  Why not introduce a constitutional amendment outlawing the use of ANY money in politics?  "The Constitution should provide that each candidate be dropped on a deserted island with nothing but a laptop computer, and a pencil bag full of magic markers to get their message out to the voters.  Let them all duke it out in this fashion, and the best man, woman, or transgender person will certainly emerge victorious!" Abraham told me in a private conversation (well, it's not private anymore).  Though honesty compels me to report that Abraham Fungus Jr. would probably not excel in such a brutal competition.  He even forgot to register to vote, and could not even vote for himself.  But as Lord Throckmorton Fungusleaves would say, "That is neither here nor there." 

So, it seems that the winner of last night's election is not Bronco Obamma, or even the American people for that matter.  The true winner is ME, because I get bragging rights on predicting exactly what was going to happen almost a full 2 months ago.  SEE:  Obama Will Win:  I personally guarantee an election victory for President Obama

Yup, an endless parade of over-paid pundits (Karl Rove, Dick Morris, George F. Will) all wear the dunce cap today, but not the honorable James Earl Fungus I.

It is no wonder so many important people read!

President Obama at the computer

Anyway, I had to make an exciting youtube video celebrating my very awesome, and successful prediction, so please check it out below, because it is also awesome...

Darth Vader for president poster?  (I don't know what this is.  I found it on the internets.)

There are winners...and there's losers...but that ain't no big deal...  as the legendary John Mellencamp once sang.

Darth Vader "Epic Fail" poster (found on the internets)

And there definitely were some losers last night, and those losers are the Republicans, and the Republican party.  But cheer up you losers, because I made you your own youtube video too!

It's a compilation of "Best Epic Fails."  Check it out below...

Ok.  Stay tuned, true believers, because I'll be back soon, with more post-election updates, and coverage of these developing stories.

Once again, God bless you, and please remember to support your local zoo.

Stay classy, Chicago!


  1. You know the idea to not have any money be used in politics is actually a good one. They really did spend over a billion dollars and that money could have been used a lot better. I would have voted for Abraham Fungus but sadly I couldn't vote :(

    1. I will tell Abraham he had your support. It will mean a lot to him.

  2. I'm glad the geeky mathematical pollsters got it right too. Those guys deserve more attention than clowns like Dick Morris. Didn't he work for Bill Clinton before switching sides after getting caught with a hooker? I never realised getting caught with a hooker could affect a man in that way.

    Anyway, 'Video of the Now' is an important work of art that asks more questions than it answers. In particular, why would a fat kid be so popular? Is it because his name is Billy Bunter?

    1. Long story short, Dick Morris got run out of the Clinton administration on account of the scandal, and I think FOX News agreed to give him a job as long as he would slam Clinton every chance he got. The only thing I know of Billy Bunter is Elton John's bass player Caleb Quaye use to make fun of Elton behind his back because he supposedly looked like Billy Bunter... which took a lot of nerve if you ask me.

  3. Whoo! No more election related things. :D

  4. Darth Vader couldn't even make Emperor, he'd just be the Presidents henchman.

    1. Well, Tony, it's not like it's easy to become Emperor.

  5. At least if there were millions spent on the campaigns, it mostly came from private donations which unlocked the tightly closed wallets of the rich, plus, the money will stay in the US. But yes, it would have been better spent on cancer research.




Watch ILLUMINATI UNDER INVESTIGATION with Shepard Steele on Jimmy Fungus's Youtube!