Saturday, January 12, 2013

True Facts About Morgan Freeman? Lord Throckmorton Fungusleaves Helps Us Set the Record Straight

Hello again, true believers.  I come to you today with this brief entry, to help clarify some pieces of information that have been disseminated recently by the horrible, horrible mass media...and these pieces of "information" concern one of the greatest actors of our time...a Mister Morgan Freeman.

Yes, it seems that the web has been having quite a bit of fun with Morgan Freeman of late.  This distinguished actor has been at the center of an endless number of internet hoaxes, false news reports, and outright lies.

Take for example, this new video out, which is tobogganing through the vast tubes of the internets entitled "True Facts About Morgan Freeman."  I would tell you all about it, but why should I invest my valuable energies doing that when you can just watch it below.  (I mean it's not like I'm getting paid to write this stuff!)  So, here I present to you: "True Facts About Morgan Freeman" the video...

the "WHAT ABSOLUTE TWADDLE" cat (found on the internets)


"Titty sprinkles"??   Morgan Freeman wouldn't say that.

As I said earlier, Morgan Freeman has been the victim of so many falsehoods spread across the internets...from death hoaxes, to something seemingly innocent as people taking words they've written, and assigning Freeman's name to them (I guess because they think it will give the words more credibility?)... that it is high time someone has had the cojones to stand up in Morgan Freeman's defense, and put an end to this absolute twaddle.   I am not that man. 

Alright, cool.   I think I did my good deed for the day by doing my very best to keep anymore dastardly Morgan Freeman rumors from taking off, and getting out of control.  Now, why don't we play ourselves out with a song...with Morgan Freeman portraying Vincent the Vegetable Vampire singing the Vincent the Vegetable Vampire theme music....

Once again, thank you, and please remember to support your local zoo.

Stay classy, Chicago!


  1. Morgan Freeman has no one to blame but himself for getting spoofed like that. It's his own fault for never playing a bad guy in the movies and getting typecast. Now everyone think his voice is the voice or God or Uncle Remus or whoever. Even Henry Fonda played a bad guy in Once Upon a Time in the West. Here he is.

    1. I must say that that Fonda scene wasn't very believable. If Fonda wanted to dirty up his image, all he had to do was have some paparazzo take his picture smoking a blunt with Keith Richards.

  2. Morgan Freeman is one classy man though. I think that whatever people say about him, as long as it's classy and involves his majestic voice, I will believe it. Especially if he says it. His voice is just so soothing I can believe anything he says. Where's Conspiracy Keanu when you need him?

    1. One brief pep talk from Morgan Freeman is all I need, and I can turn my life around. Oh yeah.

  3. Yeah... As much as I love this man's voice all I can imagine him saying now is "titty sprinkles".

  4. That Vincent the Vegetable Vampire was just awful but so funny. Thanks for dredging it up and posting it -- I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes. :-D

  5. Replies
    1. Morgan Freeman narrates everyone's life. If he didn't you wouldn't even exist.

  6. I frikken love this guy! He played Nelson Mandela in the movie Invictus. I'm not sure if anyone outside of South Africa would know about it. Ah well.
    Ooh and he played God in Bruce Almighty. What skill!

  7. When are we receiving free Morgan Freeman pickles?