Friday, October 17, 2014

OFF TO THE RACES with 3 New Vids: NOT an Actual Cannibal Shia LaBeouf Tells the Story of His Arrest to Jimmy Kimmel (BUT FIRST Neil Breen Goes for his Dreams with "Fateful Findings"... while Simon Cowell Crushes Yours with One Direction)


Well, I said so plainly in the title, this week it's off to the races with three exciting new videos from my youtube channel...

Neil Breen of "Fateful Findings" wants NO MORE BOOKS! gif

First up to bat, in this amazing parade of unparalleled entertainment is Gossip Goat's review of "Fateful Findings" directed by Neil Breen.  Well what are you waiting for??  Just watch the video below this quasi-paragraph...  (UPDATE 12/16/2014: I actually updated Gossip Goat's review with a more extensive video on Mr. Neil Breen hosted by the distinguished Lord Throckmorton Fungusleaves, so I posted that here instead now.)

newly invented Victory Goat goat meme

hungry dinosaur chasing poor guy on Japanese game show gif

And let's keep on going before we lose our breath.  The second in this holy trinity of mind blowing youtube videos addresses Simon Cowell's recent comment, "No one will be the next One Direction."  Those were the most discouraging words I've heard since Demi Lovato told us dreams aren't for everybody (mind you, I'm paraphrasing).  Anywho, Lord Throckmorton Fungusleaves wasn't going to take that lying down (though he may take it sitting down).  Whatever.  If you want to see what the Lord of Fungus had to say, watch the accompanying video below...

little person races a camel and WINS gif

Don't give up now, we are almost to the finish line.  The subject of our third video is Shia LaBeouf,... a man famous for only two things really:  1.)  The Rob Cantor song "Actual Cannibal Shia LaBeouf" was written about him  AND  2.)  Gorilla Bananas wrote a blog about him called  Bag Head.

However, these last few days the "horrible, HORRIBLE mass media" (as Michael Jackson used to refer to it) had decided LaBeouf is the greatest story teller since God wrote the Bible.   Shia's interview with Jimmy Kimmel went viral, and the talking heads couldn't help but heap mountains of praise on Mr. LaBeouf for his titanic globs of charm and wittiness.  However, my correspondent Wilford Fungus was having none of it, and said as much on his sexciting youtube program (also on MY youtube channel) WILFORD FUNGUS FOR AMERICA.  Watch the episode below if you are so inclined...

"and a chill wind blows" newly invented dog/pug meme (make of it what you will)

Obviously, we are going to end today's post with our SONG OF THE DAY, which is "Actual Cannibal Shia LeBeouf."  Enjoy.

Once again, thank you, and please remember to support your local zoo...

Stay classy, Chicago!


  1. I heard Shia LeBouff was going crazier than ever. I still remember him as the kid in Even Stevens. Just once I'd like there to be someone who became famous as a child not become incredibly insane as they grow older. I wonder how the kids from Addams Family turned out.

    1. Shia LeBeouf...actual cannibal, as well as destroyer of warm childhood memories.

  2. Well, I agree with Lord Fungus about farting in Simon Cowell's face, no man deserves a bad smell more than he does. As for Shia LeBeouf, why does he talk like a redneck oaf? He is really a redneck oaf, or does he just like to pretend he's one?

    1. Gorilla, Shia's career began when he was very young... and I believe he was a stand-up comic of sorts. Now he is mainly known as a dramatic actor, so it may surprise some to see him revert to the persona of a buffoonish comedian during an interview. Either that or he is quite completely insane. It's difficult to tell.

  3. That midget overcoming that huge deficit to beat the camel in the foot race is so inspiring!

  4. I liked that story, it was funny! But I agree about the beard, it's awful :P