VIDEO OF THE NOW

Friday, March 27, 2015

ZAYN PAIN!!!: Zayn Malik Quits One Direction (or was he fired??)....also, Lord Throckmorton Fungusleaves Creates a Tutorial on How to Transform Your Life

I wonder what he said to that duck? 

Welp, One Direction fans got a rude smack on the beak this week as they were informed Zayn Malik was leaving their favorite band...



I CAN BEARLY BELIEVE IT bear meme

While most everyone was by surprised by the news...





Sad Pepe gets carted off on a stretcher after news of Zayn Malik's departure from One Direction (via the internets)


It is not an exaggeration to say that many Directioners were nearly in a state of shock regarding this matter...


Well, anywhoo...  here is Gossip Goat's report in this week's episode of "GOSSIP GOAT STRIKES BACK! "






I can not tell you how grateful I am to have the insights of an entertainment reporter of Gossip Goat's caliber.  Without him I would be totally lost...




"I don't know what the shell is going on anymore" (created by an unknown genius)


Furthermore,  when it comes to matters of LIFE and LOVE, I am not one so bold to say,  "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE???  I AM!!!!"



WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?  I AM! gif




Which is why I defer to the wiser,  more experienced, better looking Lord Throckmorton Fungusleaves when it comes to these issues in his new tutorial on how to transform your life, overcome sadness, AND win the girl of your dreams.  Who the hell could ask for more than that?  You would have to be a fool not to watch the video below.





Richard Burnish hair flip gif

And with that we end this week's journey.  Until next time...


Thank you, and goodnight.






10 comments:

  1. I’m still not 100% sure who One Direction is. Does this make me old or just REALLY oblivious? I’m sure it’s probably a mixture of the two.

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    Replies
    1. I don't know much about them either, which is why I have to rely on my entertainment reporter Gossip Goat to fill me in.

      Delete
  2. Zayn Malik and One Direction were vague words I heard without understanding until this story broke. Gossip Goat's words will be no consolation to anyone so its better not to publicise them. Lord Fungus is an impostor because there's no such thing as the Royal British Army, but I wish he'd finished his anecdote about Eva Braun instead of bad-mouthing Kim Jong Un.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Stay tuned, and perhaps one day Lord Throckmorton will elaborate on what happened between him and Eva Braun.

      Delete
  3. I can do a pretty fabulous hair flick too. It's glorious. I think you'd have to be living under several rocks to have not heard the bother about Zayn. That got weird fast. This time the people cutting weren't trolls trying to get people to cut. God damn.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You should totally make a youtube vid of you doing that hair flip.

      Delete
  4. I very much enjoyed that pro bowler trying to be a tough guy being looking like . . . a pro bowler.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pro bowlers are some bad mutha (shut yo mouth)...

      Delete
  5. At the beginning of Lord Throckmorton's video there was a shot of a fat man blobbed on a couch with a bottle of whiskey in his hand. I realised I was sitting the exact same way - complete with bottle - but also not wearing a shirt. Now I feel like a deadbeat :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That video was supposed to be uplifting... at least until Kim Jong Un hijacked it.

      Delete

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