VIDEO OF THE NOW: subscroob to

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

BATMAN: The Dark Knight Rises (I discuss being a bright knight in a dark world); ALSO How to Get Banned from; PLUS Bush is Back (back again), AND Song of the Day

The new Batman movie "The Dark Knight Rises" directed by Christopher Nolan is not even out in theaters yet...but that has not stopped people from having very strong opinions about it.  SEE:  Rotten Tomatoes Suspends Comments on Dark Knight  The well known movie review site had to shut down user comments because so many anonymous internet thugs were making heinous, life-threatening comments against film critics who spoke poorly of the upcoming movie.  Not that I don't have some sympathy for these "anonymous internet thugs."  I have had a beef with film critics ever since Roger Ebert ruined the ending of "Dead Poets Society" for me when I was a kid (his justification was that the ending was predictable, so if you were too stupid to see it coming, it was your own damn problem).

But, the reason I bring this up friends, is yes, sadly... recently was attacked by one of these anonymous internet tough guy bullies, and I nearly had to put in place some kind of comment moderation of my own (I hope I will never have to do this).

I may not be Batman, but using the sophisticated technologies available to me, combined with the fact that the perpetrator apparently has the IQ of a poorly fermented pickle, I was able to pinpoint exactly where the comments had come from in less than 2 minutes.


Despite this supposedly anonymous bully's obvious stupidity, he seems to fancy himself as an "intellectual."  For the comments were written in a style of speech one would hear Helena Bonham Carter using on an episode of "Masterpiece Theater", only in this episode of "Masterpiece Theater" Helena Bonham Carter plays a prostitute in one of King Henry VIII's brothels (if that would even be historically accurate, cut me some slack on that), for his comments were laced with obscenities, expletives, and pornographic references.  Worse yet, this bumbling buffoon then attempted to impersonate me, again using the anonymous function, and responding to his own idiotic comments, but then signing my name (I have read that talking to yourself makes you smarter, but clearly not in this guy's case).  Ok, first of all, my readers are some of the savviest, and most intelligent people on the face of the earth.  They know I wouldn't use the anonymous function to reply to comments on my own website.  Secondly, they know I don't talk like a member of Fagin's gang from an off Broadway re-adaptation of the musical version of "Oliver Twist", as this drooling dumb ass wrote his comments to sound like.


So, Mr. Supposedly Anonymous Online Thug..., YOU ARE BANNED...BANNED!!...from for life!!

Also, this knucklehead has been playing the same game on blogs all across the internets, and has probably been doing this for some time.  I don't know if it is his lame attempt at trying to be funny, or a round about way of spamming some pornographic websites...but here good sir, allow me to assist you...

I recommend this link to help you with your pornography addiction Jospeh Prince - Breaking Porn Addiction Through Grace ,  and for your more serious problem of not being funny, I recommend one of my articles   here  Why is Ron Burgundy funny? (another mystery of the universe unraveled).

Uhh, how does one carry on in a world where there are so many naysayers, just ready to fling their smelly, rotten turds at you, for no other reason than for their own stinkin' amusement?  How does one live brightly, in a world of darkness?  No one knows.  No, there is actually someone who knows:  Lord Picklejar, (the arch duke of Hell in the service of Satan).

Lord Picklejar: "HAIL SATAN!"
In this video lecture, which is in a series of lectures called "Great Lectures in Evil", Lord Picklejar responds to a contest held by the people who make Sun Chips, in which people send in stories about how they can "live brightly", and then perhaps win a nice prize, but at the same time, change the world for the better...

Watch Lord Picklejar's eyes at the beginning of this video.  Wouldn't he be a great boyfriend for Overly Attached Girlfriend girl??  (I'm not sayin', I'm just sayin.)

Bush is Back

I screwed you all... but thanks for blaming it on the black guy. ~ George W. Bush meme
Well, we very seldom hear from former President Bush anymore, because he is trying to stay out of the limelight.  In fact the only time we ever do hear from him is if he is feuding with Kanye West, or promoting a new book.  So, guess what...   George W. Bush has a new book out called  "The 4 Percent Solution: Unleashing the Economic Growth America Needs", so he is doing interviews.  SEE:  George W. Bush: 'Eight Years Was Awesome, And I Was Famous And I Was Powerful'

"Eight years was awesome, and I was famous and I was powerful."  George W. Bush in his interview with Peter Robinson

Wellllll, kids...  I really try to avoid taking sides on a lot of these political things, because I like to remain an objective investigative journalist,  so I will just post what HuffPost user TheKurgan said about it...which I think, pretty well sums it up!

"Getting George W. Bush to expound on the econmy is like asking Napoleon Dynamite to dscover the Higgs Boson," TheKurgan.

"We don't have books anymore.  We have Spiderman,"  George W. Bush.  (No, just kidding!  He didn't really say that.  I don't think.)

Song of the Day

As per usual, we play ourselves out with a song.  It's "Goodbye", the last song on Elton John's legendary album "Madman Across the Water", but it's an unusual version of this song.  Luckily it was posted by youtube user CrazyWater so we could all hear it...

I'm sorry, I took your time...  I am the poem that doesn't rhyme...  Once again, thank you all, and please remember to support your local zoo.

Stay classy, Chicago.


  1. Sorry about the anonymous hate man :( I don't really get anonymous comments so that's good. I wouldn't react too well if I got hate, even if it's an anonymous one.

    I don't really like the idea that Dubya is back. But on the other hand it will be nice if he makes some more "Bushisms" and reminds us what a total idiot he is. It sounds like he is.

    1. If only Bush had decided to become a comedian instead of a politician, then we would have been able to laugh at his Bushisms, without suffering the consequences of his poor leadership.

  2. I'm with Mark on this, to abuse you via anonymous comments is pathetic. This is my first time checking out your blog buddy and I like what you're posting, I'll try subscribe by email to future updates now.

    1. God bless you, and thank you for your support.

  3. Agree with Yeamie and others re: anonymous comments.

  4. I want Lord Picklejar to marry Over-Attached Girlfriend right now! And then consummate the marriage in the master bedroom of Dracula's castle.

    I'm sorry to hear you've been pestered by a troll. "Ho hum, suck my bum" is all I have to say to him. I'm sure he was even more vile and boorish than a member of Fagin's gang.

    As regards the new Batman movie, isn't it about time people voted on whether they prefer the original series with Adam West and Burt Ward to all these slick remakes? The original series and had humour and repressed gayness. I still love it. Nanna nanna nanna nanna na! Batman!

    1. Well, I suppose people could vote on it... But it seems as long as Hollywood can make money on super hero movies, they will keep coming.

  5. Legit right now?? Some people have no life but to spam other people's blogs...Sigh..

    So you're readers are savy and intelligent?? Oh, I agree..I agree!!!!

    P.S. I totally can't wait for Batman. Rotten tomatoes can shove it with their negative nonsense!

    1. I was going to write more about the rottentomatoes thing. Actually 84% of their critics liked the new Batman movie...the Batman fans just got their jimmies rustled by a small number of critics trashing it. And being the film is so well received in general, some of the negative critics probably just thought they were being rebels by not liking it. Ya know, there's always those "too cool to get on the bandwagon" people out there.

  6. If I found that anonymous foul-mouthed kid, I'll destroy him. I've been learning Advanced Mishima-style Fighting Arts (Tekkne fighting style) :P

    I want to destroy Dubya too. I've heard his dad was quite good though.

    1. Karan, I hereby knight you as a honorary member of the Elite Fungus Troll Patrol.

  7. You should have screen capped the comments and shown us them! I've been getting quite a few anonymous comments lately but they all have links to someones blog! Oh wait a few didn't but they were more silly then mean.

    I'd say I hope something bad happens to the people that leave anonymous messages, but most likely they're pathetic losers who are already living there punishment.

    1. I might have, Bersercules...but they were pornographic, and super disgusting. I did notice those comments on your site, and they are in some ways similar to the comments I got. They are strange, not very funny, and make references to other sites. If we do get trolled, I hope that at least there is a silver lining, and it ends with the result of making us as famous as Rebecca Black, Boxxy, or Dax Flame. Being that as it may, the Fungus Homeland Security Advisory System has issued an official warning about the troll, and is on HIGH ALERT.

  8. I am so excited for "The Dark Knight Rises." First Batman film I will be watching, so I am going to ignore the reviews because they may influence me.

    What is this about negative comments, and how can you ban someone? You should read the comment someone left on my podcast. It was..interesting. The kind of interesting that can make a person want to throw up.

    1. It's difficult to ban someone from the internet. You have to file a complaint form, and then get former vice president Al Gore, and the ghost of Steve Jobs to sign off on it. But it can be done.

  9. Oh, I just read the Troll Alert, and that's the guy I was talking about. Apparently, the man likes Monty Python, so I can't help but like him. Unless I see him. Then, I will punch him for what the comment he left me.




Watch ILLUMINATI UNDER INVESTIGATION with Shepard Steele on Jimmy Fungus's Youtube!