Today's post is totally badass. Not only will we discuss the return of Dax Flame, but there will also be cameo appearances by Darth Vader and Hitler. (Not that those three individuals belong in the same sentence together, but as Lord Throckmorton Fungusleaves would say... that is neither here, nor there.)
So, it came to pass, that a very long time ago, I sent a letter to "Weird" Al Yankovic attempting to communicate the dire need for him to "dirty up" his image, and to do it quickly and in a very devastating manner. Needless to say, Al did not heed my advice. Either that, or I just forgot to mail him the letter... but in any event, Yankovic's career headed towards a consistently steady downward slope. He never again attained the pinnacles of mega-fame which he enjoyed in the early 1980s.
Luckily, youtube legend Dax Flame seems to be escaping the tentacles of this trap "Weird" Al became ensnared in... first with his participation in the raunchy "Project X"...
That's not even all that's going on in the world. (Most of what I am mentioning is going to be thoroughly covered in this week's episode of "Current Events Rodeo Round-Up". this time hosted by Jake Brickhead. So, don't even think about going anywhere.)
the "First World Cat Problems" meme (via Buzzfeed)
There is a delightful new video that is going viral called Sad Cat Diary (which is based on the "First World Cat Problems" meme)...which Brickhead will review for you, and you're gonna love it.
Also, in this latest edition of "The Round-Up", Jake will discuss this problem Justin Bieber has of always getting booed wherever he goes (such as happened at the Billboard Music Awards.)
Welp, enough of my mindless chuntering. Here is the latest episode of "Current Events Rodeo Round-Up" hosted by Jake Brickhead. Enjoy.
UPDATE 12/18/2014 :I have since put that video on PRIVATE for reasons. However, you can watch Wilford Fugus' REVIEW of all Taylor Swift SHAKE IT OFF parodies instead if you like...
And with that... we are not even close to being done. Lord Throckmorton Fungusleaves may be down, but he is certainly not out. He weighs in on the continuing saga of Greg Onision in his latest video.
NOT Greg Onision (This is Shane Dawson, who Lord Fungusleaves believes is a "very bizarre and disturbing young man.")
Alright, I must also do my job and give you the necessary background information before you can truly absorb Lord Throckmorton's report. So here it is... It seems that everyone is comparing youtube personality Greg Onision to Adolph Hitler because Greg is censoring comments on his youtube channels. This really pissed me off as well, so I had to put a comment on other youtube personality MrRepzion's channel complaining about it. (If this all seems very confusing you might want to check out my article The Heroic High Schooler, the Farting Copper, the Hating of the Kittens, the Stalking of the Onision, and the Slapping of the Mom..)
Let me reiterate that I was a bit angry at the time I wrote it, so I might have been a tad rash with my statements. I am still feeling like I can not impart a truly unbiased opinion, so instead I will let Lord Throckmorton Fungusleaves answer the age old question...
Sorry, but we still aren't done. I want to tell you about the exciting new showgram coming to a T.V. set near you....
It's called "Steven Universe."
I am kind of blathering on forever, in this entry (I am...right?), so if you want more info on the series, just go to the description of the video I am posting below.
This video contains the catch phrase from "Steven Universe" that is sweeping the nation like an atomic Swifter Picker Upper... "Why are you such a buttface?" (and not to mention it is on my very own youtube channel)...
Ok, then. We are finally finished. But don't worry. I shall see you all again very soon.
"SOON." stalker sloth meme (found on the internets)
Once again, God bless you all... and please remember to support your local zoo.
CHRISTMAS SUCKS: When you come out of the bathroom, and Hitler has stolen your seat (via the internets)
Merry Christmas, kids. Well, as you know, true believers...today is Christmas, so I thought it would be a good time for another one of my Adolph Hitler posts...
Anywho, it was my original intention for Lord Throckmorton Fungusleaves and myself to produce another episode of my series "UNTRUE HITLER STORIES" for my youtube channel (which by the way has been a completely dismal failure of a youtube series so far). But the Lord of Fungus was way too busy with Christmas preparations...
Luckily, since the presidential election season is over, former Independent presidential candidate Abraham Fungus Jr. hasn't had a lot to do. So, he has been making some cool videos for me of late. They are not necessarily directly related to Christmas, but they are religious in nature (which probably has a lot more to do with Christmas than 90% of the Christmas mumbo jumbo you see reported by the mainstream anti-Rebecca Black media!).
So, the first Abraham Fungus Jr. video that I am posting for you was a response to the Amazing Atheist of youtube, and the Amazing Atheist's very timely Christmas video "Jesus is a Scumbag."
The Amazing Atheist: As seen on Youtube (via Party9999999 on deviantART)
So here is the Amazing Atheist's video "Jesus is a Scumbag!"...
...and here is Abraham Fungus Jr.'s response to the Amazing Atheist.
Being that Abraham Fungus Jr. is not only my top news & politics analyst, but also my End Times biblical prophecy expert, I asked him if he would mind doing me a vid on the "end of the world" issue as well.
Nostradamus predicts the end of the world "Gangnam Style" meme (via the internets)
Then I came across a video by William Tapley (aka "the third eagle of the Apocalypse" and "co-prophet of the End Times") who hosts a show called "Revelation Unraveled." When I viewed Mr. Tapley's video "The Antichrist Arrives Gangnam Style", I felt it was important that Abraham Fungus Jr. produce a response video as soon as possible, or before the Second Coming of Christ (whichever came first).
So here is William Tapley's video "The Antichrist Arrives Gangnam Style!"...
...and here is my Biblical prophecy expert Abraham Fungus Jr.'s response to "The Antichrist Arrives Gangnam Style!"
Welp, dear friends. That is all the amazing new Christmas content I have available for you today. Once again, Merry Christmas, and please remember to support your local zoo.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone! And what better way to celebrate Thanksgiving, with our first ever episode of "UNTRUE HITLER STORIES" hosted by Lord Throckmorton Fungusleaves. But before we get on with that, how about some background information, so that things may make a little more sense. Let's learn a little bit more...
as Gabourey Sidibe explains, Hitler has been portrayed many ways over the years since his destructive death
Adolph Hitler is the most evil guy who ever lived. Over the years, since his tumultuous demise, his image has been revamped many times, and he still remains a household word. Despite the fact he is a really evil jerk, he still hold an enduring place in popular culture.
Here are a few examples...
Hitler and Cheetos, in a "Downfall" parody video
It can not be denied that the "Downfall of Hitler" parody videos, are one of the most popular things in the history of the earth.
Jesus and Hitler hit the road in the buddy movie "Second Coming"
Hitler shows up in more Hollywood films than Ben Stiller. Well, maybe not that many. But Hitler is in A LOT of movies.
"Hitler Rap" by The Whitest Kids U' Know
Hitler even shows up in popular music videos (an arena of our pop culture you think would be sacred, but I guess it isn't...hmmm).
Yes, Hitler is a very important part of the popular music scene.
Hitler and One Direction
Which brings us to Thanksgiving. As, I alluded to earlier, the latest video on my youtube channel is the first episode ever of "UNTRUE HITLER STORIES" narrated by Lord Throckmorton Fungusleaves, which is a response to Greg Onision's video on his channel Onision which is entitled "HAPPY MUSTACHE THANKSGIVING!!!" I will just post both of these videos, because they are both relevant. So, for the love of God, please check them you...
Once again, God bless you, and please remember to support your local zoo.
Demi Lovato, Britney Spears, Simon Cowell, Spiderman, and a bald guy, on The X Factor
The X Factor premiered last night, but my tv is so darn broke, not even Spiderman could fix it, so I didn't get to watch it, but I'm sure it was very exciting. Anywho, the internet is abuzz with Demi Lovato supposedly getting "owned" by a contestant on the X Factor. More on that in a bit...
But FIRST we are going to do this... See, this is Part 1 of Part 3 of my series of "most controversial post" posts. Since this is only Part 1 of Part 3 and not Part 2, which would actually be Part 4 (but, now we're getting ahead of ourselves, aren't we?), it will not be that controversial. So, if you were planning on saying "well, that wasn't that controversial" in the comments section, you don't have to. But, if you want to, I suppose that is your right. It would just be kind of redundant, because I already pointed that out.
Anywho, i've been wanting to make these Chloe Moretz, Boxxy, Hitler, Big Bird, and the Cookie Monster memes for sometime now.. But for whatever reason, never got around to it now.
So without further ado, here they are...
Chloe Moretz and Boxxy React to Big Bird, and the Cookie Monster Canoeing with Hitler
Chloe Moretz reacting to Big Bird, Hitler, the Cookie Monster, and some little green muppet guy
Boxxy reacting to Big Bird, Hitler, the Cookie Monster, and some little green guy (I don't know who he is)
Demi Lovato Gets "Owned"?
Demi Lovato gets her jimmies rustled by a contestant on The X Factor
Welp, some people are making a big deal about this. Seems a contestant on The X Factor mouthed off at Demi Lovato. Anywho, I will just post the video down below, and let you come to your own conclusions... And THEN (this is exciting) I will post Independent Presidential candidate Abraham Fungus Jr.'s reaction,... his new "I Have a Dream" speech...
Independent presidential candidate Abraham Fungus Jr.'s "I Have a Dream Speech"
Well, that ends another brilliant day here at JimmyFungus.com. Once again, God bless you all, and please remember to support your local zoo.
As an American voter, if you are feeling a bit dazed and confused regarding the political process, you are not alone, friends... you are not alone. All the negative campaigning, and mudslinging, has left most of us in a rather bewildered, and apathetic state, wondering just what happened to all those promises of hope and change.
Well, let me cut through all the crap for you, because the corporate run anti-Rebecca Black media, will spin things to help whichever candidate their bosses are happening to support.... Well, here's the truth: President Obama is ahead at the moment, and the Romney campaign knows it. (DISCLAIMER: That doesn't mean things will stay this way till the election.) Romney chose Paul Ryan for much the same reason that John McCain chose Sarah Palin. His advisers knew he was behind, and he needed to do something dramatic to change the dynamic of the campaign. Romney chose Ryan to light a fire under the Republican base. If the Romney campaign believed they were ahead, they would have chosen a running mate with more centrist views,...a safer pick.
If you listen to Obama's recent speeches, he also know's he's ahead. At a fundraiser (SEE: Obama fundraises with help of his NBA buddies) Obama compared the current position of his campaign to having a small lead in the 4th quarter of a basketball game... "But the other side is coming strong, And they play a little dirty. We've got a few folks on our team in foul trouble. We have a couple of injuries. And I believe they have one last run in them."
"Every day I'm rustlin'," Badass Barack Obama.
Play dirty?? With these crazy super PACs, there is no limit to the amount of negative attacks that can be hurled against an opponent. So in the waning days of the campaign, expect to see the most brutal attacks an advertising executive could possibly devise.
Enter the Fuhrer...
"Before I was a Nazi leader, I was a Nazi reader..." (via forever-delayed.tumblr and The Simpsons)
It is needles to say, a slam dunk way to win an election is to successfully link your opponent to Adolph Hitler. Check out the video below to see exactly what I am talking about...
The plot thickens...
My Brief Thoughts on "The Hunger Games"
"I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!" Will Ferrell in "Zoolander" (via aboutaseven.tumblr)
Now that "The Hunger Games" is out on video, I thought I would bring this up....
Am I on crazy pills or am I the only person who has noticed the uncanny resemblance between Claudius Templesmith, and the Will Ferrell character in "Zoolander"???
Will Ferrell in "Zoolander", and Claudius Templesmith
Is that completely insane or what?
Caesar Flickerman: "I LOVE THAT!" (via gifawesomeness.tumblr)
Caesar Flickerman may love it, but I'm more like...
"DUDE WHAT?" Carl Sagan
Yeah...more like that.
I Invent Fung Fu
I believe this is how it went down, I had just watched Bersercules' new video at http://youtube.com/Bersercules, and then I went over to http://raviolisandwaterworks.com to read Jax's latest article Life: Bethany Beach (or maybe it was the other way around?) in which Jax posed the question, "How do you force yourself to relax when your life is so hectic?" It was at this moment I had an epiphany and invented my own Jimmy Fungus version of Kung Fu called "Fung Fu", which is all about how I lead such an agonizingly pitiful, and pointless existence without completely losing my mind. So like I said, I don't know who to give the credit to (be it Jax or Bersercules) for inspiring me to invent Fung Fu so I will just give them both credit.
But I don't have time to go in great deal about Fung Fu right now, because I want to talk about this...
Joan Jett and Suzi Quatro: The Tale of Two Songs
As fate would have it, I came across this great song by Joan Jett "Do You Wanna Touch Me" (which is actually a cover version, but that's o.k.) because it is on the soundtrack for the movie "Dirty Girl" starring Juno Temple. Check it out below...
And being that Joan Jett was the legendary Suzi Quatro's biggest fan, I was inspired to create my newest youtube video....
As you may or may not know, Suzi Quatro was a huge pop star in the seventies, and she also played a character on the show "Happy Days" named Leather Tuscadero. On this episode Happy Days Richie Almost Dies Part 2, Suzi performs an extremely rare, but extremely awesome song... So rare, in fact, I don't even know what the title is, or was. It seems that it was only written for this episode of "Happy Days", and isn't available anywhere, (at least in very good quality). It is available on the episode of "Happy Days" posted on youtube, but you have to watch the entire show to get to it.
I created a video with only the song. It starts out with Suzi Quatro playing Leather Tuscadero on the episode of "Happy Days." Unfortunately in the original, the camera pans away from Suzi Quatro almost right away, and shows you a montage of what are supposed to be tear-jerking scenes of Richie Cunningham. Sorry, Richie...you aren't the special one here...Suzi is. So I edited all that crap out. Anyway, being it is so rare and more Suzi Quatro fans would probably love to be able to hear this song finally, hopefully there won't be any problems...
lyrics:
Won't you take your strength...from your friends. Know they love you so. Oh no, they won't let you down. Come and open your heart, see you're not alone. You'll soon be home. Home again with those laughing eyes. So believe, have faith, in the world and all your friends. Just like we believe in you. You can...take your time. You gotta keep on tryin'! 'cuz we need your smile, to brighten up our day. Don't go away.
this "Every day I'm rustlin'" jimmies meme was totally inspired by the japing ape (so you don't get the wrong idea, this is a man in a gorilla suit, and not Gorilla Bananas the author of the japing ape blog)
I stole this idea from...errr..ummm...I mean Gorilla Bananas at http://japingape.blogspot.com/ inspired me to create this "Every day I'm rustlin'" jimmies meme with his excellent article entitled "The Invisible Gorilla." Hopefully I will get his blessing in being able to add it to my collection of "That really rustled my jimmies" memes over here: "That Really Rustled My Jimmies" (the complete collection). Or maybe if I don't hear from him soon, I will just add it anyway, and hope he doesn't use his massive gorilla forearms to rip me limb from limb. We'll see how it goes...
Well, you are probably wondering what's going on with all the rest of my regular commenters (by my "regular commenters" I mean, my readers who have been commenting on virtually every post since nearly the dawn of Fungus time), so here we go: Jax at http://raviolisandwaterworks.com recently had a birthday, so be sure to send her a belatedly baked cake if you haven't already. The entire world is awaiting the next Bersercules video, and the next Mark the Rambling Person podcast. Nellie Vaughn, the author of Buttons are Not Currency (who also hosts Little Room Discussions with this other girl), has been missing in action for quite awhile now. Miss Vaughn if you are tired of blogging, I still need your comments on my blog posts. I would be glad to compensate you, but I can only afford to pay you in Doritos. Oh! And I have never given a shout out to Aysh at http://ohmeowmeowoh.blogspot.com/ who almost never misses one of my posts...so good for you, Aysh. You're a poet, and a hero. Recently, I have met some new lovely people who are leaving some super delightful comments, and I swear I WILL write about you sooner, or later. (If you want me to that is.)
Kbbuddingwriter at http://karanbattu.blogspot.com, don't worry, I haven't forgotten about you. You are actually going to be kind of a BIG DEAL in this post...
Anywho, if you are one of the sick puppies who wanted to see Justin Bieber get a can of whoop ass opened up on him, it looks like you have gotten your wish. For in his new video for the song "As Long As You Love Me", that is exactly what happens.
"I didn't exactly enjoy slapping him around," Michael Madsen told MTV News. "Had he been a prick, had he been a brat, you know, I might have had fun with that. But he was actually, he was the opposite."
Back in the day, it probably would have been rude for a member of the media to even ask such a question. But, if you ARE one of these cruel sadistic bastards, who would enjoy seeing Justin Bieber get his ass kicked, I personally made this gif for you...
Justin Bieber getting beaten up in "As Long As You Love Me" gif
And to give you some context, here is the full video below...
So, now I am going to attempt an awkward segue into the next thing I shall be talking about...
If I was rich and famous as Justin Bieber, I would probably savor the flavor and aroma of every turd my detractors in the peanut gallery chose to fling my way. But being the poor, struggling proletariat that I am... getting pestered by the occasional poop projectile is at best, a mildly depressing reason to bring my computer to the crap cleaners, and at worst,...wellll...let's not go there.
How Comments Hurt: One of My "Most Controversial Post" Posts Causes a Furor
Look, Mr. T. Roger Thomas, I am not one of the paparazzos that Justin Bieber likes to punch in the face (allegedly). Randomly taking photos of people, and then carelessly plugging them into a context in which they don't belong, and adding a ridiculous caption, is not only shoddy journalism...it is just plain WRONG!
ABBA in "Take a Chance on Me" video... and Bersercules??
Tonight, I just have time to partially defend myself from these thinly veiled charges of journalistic malfeasance which T. Roger Thomas has hurled against me (I'm busy running a sick ass blog, you know.) But...allow me to address at least one of the accusations.
I did create a meme starring a youtube personality "Lord Picklejar" that was emblazoned with the caption (if you want to refer to it as a caption) "HAIL SATAN!"
Lord Picklejar is not a "blogger" in the sense that our commenter T. Roger Thomas means. Picklejar hosted a youtube program at his channel http://youtube.com/colpicklejar and described himself as ""the grand archduke of Hell in the service of Satan, who is called the Lightbringer." (Lord Picklejar has not hosted a show at this channel for a very long time...I assume, he has moved on to bigger and better things.) Lord Picklejar had a tradition of ending every one of his shows with the exclamation "HAIL SATAN!"
And guess what...GUESS WHAT, PEOPLES!! I have made my first ever youtube video by making a best of compilation of Lord Picklejar hailing Satan, at my very own youtube channel http://youtube.com/jimmyfungus! And here it is....
Now...forgive me, if I use a little sarcasm of my own... As you can see I was reaaaaallly out of line for having the nerve to make the meme that I made.
In the words of the immortal Steve Martin...
Steve Martin: "Excuse me!"
Moving right along...
Insanely Brilliant Quotes with Fran Lebowitz
Now, I would like to introduce a brand new segment at JimmyFungus.com called "Insanely Brilliant Quotes" with Fran Lebowitz. Fran Lebowitz is a best selling New York author, and her wisdom, candor, and wit can be matched by...virtually no one. It is always fascinating to hear her views on all of today's burning social issues, and she is an excellent spokes person for pretty much anything. (SEE: Fran Lebowitz on Occupy Wall Street)
Way back in the day, Lebowitz was a frequent guest on the David Letterman Show. (SEE: Fran Lebowitz on Late Night With David Letterman) Sadly, at least it seems to me, that most recently, the corporate run anti-Rebecca Black media, rarely gives her a forum to express her ideas. Well, kids, we can fix that...can't we? With my newly invented "Insanely Brilliant Quotes with Fran Lebowitz" meme, we can spread Fran's insane brilliance to all corners of the internets. Here are just two examples of what we can do with this idea...
Fran Lebowitz on billionaires' greed
Fran Lebowitz on the hypocrisy of the super rich
And now, finally...
Song of the Day
And now, FINALLY...we can end our amazing voyage through the interwebs with today's "Song of the Day." No introduction is really needed.. here it is.
Once again, thank you, and please remember to support your local zoo.
Anywho, if you haven't seen the movie "Taken" starring Liam Neeson, where Neeson gives the famous speech that goes "I don't know who you are...but if you don't let my daughter go...I will find you...I will kill you", then you were probably just thinking...well, that's not very nice...why would Niam Leeson threaten to kill Carly Rae Jepsen? Ok, well if you are still thinking that, not to be rude, but...just get over it, this is one of my "most controversial post" posts, and I announced that ahead of time...which makes it o.k.
"I don't know who you are...but if you don't let my daughter go...I will find you...I will kill you." Liam Neeson.
And what exactly would one of my most controversial posts be, without a cameo appearance by the most evil guy in the world, Adolph Hitler? So here is a youtube video where Liam Neeson phones Adolph Hitler...
"Damn you, Jimmy Fungus!" Hitler.
Well there ya go... the most evil guy in the world is thankfully thwarted again. Alrighty then...moving right along...
My Personal Collection of "Hail Satan!" Memes
This IS indeed my personal collection of "Hail Satan!" and Satanism memes. I hope they bring you as much darkness, and doom as they brought me....
Without further ado...let's go...
Carly Rae Jepsen "Call Me Maybe"/Hail Satan! gif
Well, I really must apologize to Miss Carly Rae Jepsen (America's sweetheart from Canada) for featuring her not once, but twice, in one of my "most controversial post" posts. But like Don King or Andy Warhol (I can't remember which) once said, "All publicity is good publicity."
"Hail Satan" Dogs (found on the internets)
always a classic the "HAIL SATAN" teletubbie...I believe it is Tinky Winky
The "HAIL SATAN, MOTHER F*CKER!" t-shirt... the perfect Christmas gift for the friend, or family member who is a member of the Church of Satan (or for whatever wacky holiday Satanists celebrate instead of Christmas).
Hail Sagan, as in Carl (via the internets)
This is really a "Hail Sagan", and not a "Hail Satan" meme... Ehh, but whatever...in my "most controversial post" posts, I tend to let all journalistic integrity kinda fly out the window.
Aubrey Plaza: "I'd like to thank the devil and all the dark lords who gave this award..." (via leeleesux.tumblr)
"Hail Satan!" devil via "Leo & Satan"
the "Why? FOR THE GLORY OF SATAN OF COURSE!" bear (via the internets)
Normally, the "for the glory of Satan" bear, would be way too controversial for little ole JimmyFungus.com... but this is one of my "most controversial post" posts... So, it's alllll good.
"Satanism For Dummies"
"Satanism for Dummies"...a must read for anyone considering surrendering their soul to Satan in exchange for goods and/or services.
bad cows
Bad cows... they are bad moos (get it? Ugg.) These are the cows you will meet in Hell... or I mean I will meet in Hell... Because that's where I'm going for making this post.
"Hail Satan!" obligatory Bart Simpson version (via idled-teen.tumblr)
:Hail Satan!" Winnie the Pooh version (found on the internets)
You know what else comes with a video.... The song of the day.
John Denver and the Muppets (just because)
Song of the Day
The Song of the Day is "Poems, Prayers, and Promises" by John Denver and the Muppets... what else would it be?
John Denver always had this thing that he said at the end of every concert, and show... but I can't remember what it is. So I will just say what I always do....
Thank you all, very much, and please remember to support your local zoo. Stay classy, Chicago.
