Did you know my life sucks? Alrighty then. Now that we have that settled, let's get on with perhaps one of our most thrilling blog posts ever published here at JimmyFungus.com.
I have made a goodly number of new videos at my youtube channel, and I am not going to talk about all of them now (that would be insane). Instead, I will talk about the ones that are either most timely, or are making the biggest impact on our very impressionable society, or both.
My first video I will discuss with you, tackles a major enchilada packed with the most relevant current events happenings. Among the issues discussed...
"JUSTIN BIEBER: Even monkeys hate him!" via kai-pachi on DeviantART (DISCLAIMER: I am a Belieber, and technically do not endorse this sort of thing.)
That crazy situation with Justin Bieber's monkey.
"Surprised Patrick" Star with "Losheen" (Losheen is obviously a cute nickname for the combined powers of Lindsay Lohan and Charlie Sheen)
All the crazy stuff Lindsay Lohan has been up to lately...
Kim Jong Un with binoculars... watching PSY doin' it Gangnam Style (I am more than partly responsible for this)
Alright. Enough of my mind-numbing chuntering. Here is the latest episode of "Current Events Rodeo Round-Up", this time hosted by our resident comedian Chucky C. Chuckles:
And moving right along, Mister Epic Mann's hit video How Animals Eat Their Food is stampeding through the internets like a charging rhinoceros.
Please watch our very own Lord Throckmorton Fungusleaves' critical analysis of this video below...
This excellent video by the Lord of Fungus has been pretty darn successful so far. Sadly, that publicity has attracted a fair heaping of negativity. Below, I am going to post one of what seem to be a growing plethora of negative comments the video is receiving. If any of you be so kind please attempt to translate it into human...
blaketedford97 wants Lord Throckmorton to kill herself
This may be very cowardly to say, but I am relieved most of this invective is aimed at Lord Fungusleaves and not me. It is encouraging to note, however, that a very courageous, and thoughtful young youtube user "Ale Olivas" stood firm against the bullying. "I can't believe some heartless person would tell someone to go kill themself ? Like really grow up," she wrote. God bless you, Ale.
But on the bright side of things, the unfortunate comment from blaketedford97 does provide an opportunity to switch gears, and talk about some deeper topics...a chance to explore the more burning issues...
"Are you aware of how many feels you were feeling back there?" I Know That Feel meme (found on the internets)
Sometimes it is only when we have the misfortune of staring into the white hot eyes of hatred, can we see the courageousness of compassion and love.
"i am all, yet i am void," space sloth (via lymphnodez.tumblr)
And as JimmyFungus.com's official spiritual adviser Zoroasterisk Fungfucius would say: "It is only love that can fill the void that is within us. For the void leads to fear. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to emptiness. Emptiness leads to more fear, and anger. Anger leads to more fear, and emptiness, vice versa and so on. All of this is going to make you really angry."
"They don't think it be like it is, but it do," the legendary Oscar Gamble.
And in the words of the legendary Oscar Gamble, "They don't think it be like it is, but it do."
Once again, God bless you all, and please remember to support your local zoo.
"Double Take" is comprised of Lauren Willey and Drew Garrett. When this tandem first strutted their stuff onto the world stage, most of us did not know what to make of them. Why would they make such a ridiculously bad video? Were they insane? Were they "gooped up on gop"?
Well, it seems we now have the answer. Lauren and Drew are not crazy OR on drugs...they are comediennes! Not only that, they have made a new video called "Like a Princess" (treat me like a princess, and call me by my name...put me on a pedestal, and soak up all my fame) which you can easily watch by staring at the youtube player below this paragraph:
...and if that were not exciting enough, the two have decided to run for president of the United States together...to be co-presidents...a dual presidency, if you will. SEE: Lauren and Drew 2012.
Double Take is comprised of Lauren Willey and Drew Garrett (the Hall and Oates of our generation)
If Funguzz Vizzion endorsed presidential candidate Abraham Fungus Jr. is not elected (see Abraham Fungus Jr.'s Greatest Speeches) then I for one hope these lovely girls are the ones who ascend to the oval office. For not only do I think it would be great for the country, but this presidential election business is a great segue into our next segment...our first ever episode of "Who is it??"
Mitt Romney's 2012 Running Mate: Who is it????
Now that we know that without a shade of the shadow(<---redundant) of doubtfullness (that's not a word, is it?), Mitt Romney will be the candidate for president of the United States of America on the Republican side of the aisle....it is time to start considering some probable possibilities for his vice presidential running mate. So, I will just go through a lengthy laundry list of possible candidates, and hope by some miracle of heaven to stumble upon the human he actually chooses. (Oh yeah. You are supposed to play the Talking Heads song, so you have a delightful soundtrack to listen to while you are considering the options.)
Alright... without further ado...here is the list of possible candidates to be Mitt Romney's vice presidential running mate in 2012:
Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris classroom gif
Chuck Norris is quite possibly the most popular Republican in the country. He is tough, strong on national defense, and an all around badass. What he lacks in knowledge he can make up for in intimidation (as in intimidating reporters into not asking him tough questions).
Benny Hinn
Benny Hinn suit jacket exorcism gif
It may be shamelessly throwing a bone to the Christian right, if Mitt Romney chose Benny Hinn to be his running mate... but on the up side, Benny has the best suits around.
Atheist Cat
Atheist Cat: he finds prayer futile
But on the other side of the coin, Romney may want to shed the image of the Republican party as being too hyper religious, and go in the exact opposite direction, by choosing Atheist Cat. Though I don't know if this approach would work.
Boxxy
Boxxy aka Catie Wayne and Vladimir Putin pic (found on the internets)
Then there is Boxxy. She is no doubt lovable, and could soften up the gruff image of the GOP as a bunch of wealthy, money-grubbing meanies. But the bad part is she would have less time for making youtube videos.
The "Brilliant" Guy
The "Brilliant" Guy smoking a cigar
Then there is the "Brilliant" Guy. He may be a bit too much of a "YES man." But sometimes that's what you want in a Vice President.
President Romney: I think I am going to cut taxes for the wealthy.
Vice President The Brilliant Guy: BRILLIANT!
HERO CABBIE
"I kicked burning terrorist so hard in the balls that I tore a tendon in my foot."- DAILY RECORD
HERO CABBIE has his up side, and his down side as a vice presidential choice. The down side is he's not an American citizen. The up side is his record on terrorism is friggin' awesome!
Bad Luck Brian
what BAD LUCK BRIAN looks like today
I know what you are thinking..."Don't pick Bad Luck Brian! He will just bring the country bad luck!" Well, after living a privileged life perhaps a President Romney could benefit from the advice of an average American citizen... someone who has had their fair share of bad luck. Also, Brian is very photogenic.
Neil deGrasse Tyson
Neil deGrasse Tyson gif (found on the internets)
There is so many positives with choosing astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson as a running mate. He is smart. He is a person of color. And the media would totally eat up all these wacky hand gestures he makes if he used them at a debate.
Brendon Chaney
Brendon Chaney: the boy who admits he threw a pinecone
Brendon Chaney. Constitutionally he may be too young to hold these offices... But on the up side, the vetting process would be quite simple (as the only thing Brendon has ever been proven to have done wrong as of yet, is throw a pinecone).
Will Ferrell
Will Ferrell portrait
Will Ferrell. He may not be a Republican technically, but at least in this pic he seems to have the look down.
Kim Jong il
Kim Jong il from "Team America"
Kim Jong il. The upside is he has many, many years of experience at running a country. The down side is he is very unpopular. Also, he is dead.
Mister Rogers
Mr. Rogers: "Don't make me shove this shoe up you ass" meme (found on the internets)
Mr. Rogers. Upside...he like Ronald Reagan can be tough, but yet cuddly and likable at the same time. Downside...he passed away some time ago.
Giorgio A. Tsoukalos
aliens expert Giorgio Tsoukalos
Giorgio Tsoukalos. Who better to keep aliens out of the United States (a key issue with the Republican base)? The down side... his hair is completely insane.
Charlie Sheen Brown
(pic created by some unknown genius)
Picking Charlie Sheen as V.P. running mate would add some pizzazz to what would otherwise be a dull ticket. But Sheen's negative polling is very high... which could be counter-acted by turning him into a cartoon character. Well whatever...still a more logical choice than Sarah Palin.
Jeff Goldblum and a monkey
Jeff Goldblum with a monkey
As the Double Take girls have proven, dual presidencies, and dual vice-presidencies are a definite possibility (as long as you have the right justices on the Supreme Court *wink wink*). Jeff Goldblum looks very dignified in this pic (some might even say "presidential"). And having a monkey be a candidate for co-vice president would keep some of the far left animal rights activists planning on throwing protests at the Republican convention, at bay for awhile. Plus everyone likes monkeys, and most people like Jeff Goldblum. It's a win win.
The Girl Who Wears a Cat for a Hat
a picture of the girl who wears a cat for a hat (found on the internets)
Now I have got to admit the girl who wears a cat for a hat would be an absolute last resort to turn to as far as a choice to be Mitt Romney's running mate. The upside is she's a woman, which may appeal to female voters. The down side is she wears a cat for a hat. But on the outside chance that none of the other candidates I mentioned are chosen... then the Republican party will have no choice. She will be the "final answer" as Regis Philbin once said. The Republicans will have to nominate the girl who wears a cat for a hat.
My goodness. We certainly have accomplished a lot in today's entry. I do believe this is the perfect place to stop the show for today.
Once again, God bless you... and remember to support your local zoo.
