Greatest Speeches Ever: Julian Assange's Embassy Balcony Speech; ALSO...Is Republican vice presidential candidate Paul Ryan a Satanist?? (I present the evidence, and allow you to make an informed decision), AND FINALLY David Hasselhoff performs "Rhinestone Cowboy" for the Pope

Hello again, true believers.  I'm Jimmy Fungus, and we are beginning today's post with one of JimmyFungus.com's most famous segments, called...




Greatest Speeches Ever

Julian Assange speaking from the balcony of the  Ecuadorean embassy

This moment in history happened just a few days ago.  After Ecuador granted WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange political asylum, it appeared that the British government might try to storm the embassy and arrest him anyway.  Assange felt compelled to stand atop the embassy blacony, and make this dramatic statement to supporters:

"On Wednesday night, after a threat was sent to this embassy and the police descended on the building, you came out in the middle of the night to watch over it and you brought the world’s eyes with you.

Inside the embassy, after dark, I could hear teams of police swarming up into the building through the internal fire escape. But I knew that there would be witnesses. And that is because of you.

If the UK did not throw away the Vienna convention the other night that is because the world was watching. And the world was watching because you were watching.

The next time somebody tells you that it is pointless to defend those rights we hold dear, remind them of your vigil in the dark before the Embassy of Ecuador."

Here is the speech in full below...

And now we examine the question...






Is Republican vice presidential candidate Paul Ryan a Satanist??

a nifty side by side comparison of Paul Ryan and Anton LaVey's belief systems, I found on the internets

I am an impartial and objective investigative reporter, so I will not tell you how I would answer this question.  Instead, I will present to you, the reader, all the evidence you will need to come to an informed conclusion.

That quotes above are indeed accurate.  The influence Ayn Rand (author of "Atlas Shrugged" and kind of a big deal to many in the Tea Party political movement) and her philosophy had on Anton Lavey, the founder and High Priest of the Church of Satan, is well documented.

Paul Ryan's admiration for her is also a matter of public record.  Though he recently has tried to distance himself from Rand's beliefs,  he sounds pretty sincere about them in this 2009 campaign video...




Here is Ayn Rand in an interview with Mike Wallace explaining her philosophy in her own words...




And here is Anton Lavey explaining the philosophy of Satanism in his own words...



Sooo..I ask you...is Paul Ryan a Satanist????  You make the call.




David Hasselhoff sings "Rhinestone Cowboy" for the Pope

the Hoff sings "Rhinestone Cowboy"

And NOW...the most exciting news of all!  I have made a new youtube video at my channel http://youtube.com/jimmyfungus  entitled "David Hasselhoff Sings for the Pope."  Check it out below, and then tell all your friends, and just tell anyone else you see, just anywhere...on earth...



*sigh*  Well, dear ones, that will end another thrilling day at JimmyFungus.com.  Remember to tune in next time...same Fungus time...same Fungus channel....   or something like that.

Stay classy, Chicago.

Mitt Romney Choo Choo Chooses Paul Ryan to be his Running Mate (Independent Presidential candidate Abraham Fungus Jr. is not impressed)

that post gave Spiderman cancer

I know not that many people love to read my political posts...but come on...it's not going to be that bad.  Besides there is some pretty big news today, and I would be journalistically remiss if I didn't mention it.  It seems Mitt Romney has finally chosen his running mate, and it has shaken up the political world.  Being the investigative reporter that I am, I am going to report on it even though almost no one reads my political stories, unless I include a picture of ancient aliens expert Giorgio Tsoukalos.  And the even worse news is, I am all out of pictures of Giorgio Tsoukalos.

here is a pic of Bad Luck Brian, since I am all out of pics of Giorgio Tsoukalos

So Mitt Romney chooses Wisconsin congressman Paul Ryan, a favorite of the Tea Party to be his running mate, and here is my quick analysis:  It seems like the Romney team is employing the old Karl Rove strategy of firing up the base to win an election.  If Romney was holding out any hope of winning this election with the moderates, or the people on the fences that could go either way, he would have picked someone drab and inoffensive like Tim Pawlenty.  Or he would have picked a woman, or an African Amercan, or at least someone who wasn't a white dude exactly like himself.  Romney seems to be writing off the middle.  He is expecting a close election, and he is hoping to win it by firing up the true believers.   (Pssst by the way..  read my article Hot Problems 2 "Like a Princess": the Double Take girls make a new music video AND decide to run for president; ALSO Mitt Romney's running mate (our first ever episode of "who is it?" in the history of this website) to see a list of choices for Romney's vp that would have been a lot better than Paul Ryan.)

Mitt Romney, Paul Ryan, and Unimpressed McKayla Maroney

Enough of what I think...what does JimmyFungus.com endorsed Independent presidential candidate Abraham Fungus Jr. think of all this.  Just check out the video below to find out...

Orson Welles' hand clapping gif

Orson Welles seems to be impressed with Abraham Fungus Jr.s statement...

If Romney's strategy backfires, President Obama will be doing some applauding of his own.

President Obama clapping gif


Well, dear friends, that's all I have for you today.  Once again thank you and please remember to support your local zoo.

Stay classy, Chicago.