ZAYN PAIN!!!: Zayn Malik Quits One Direction (or was he fired??)....also, Lord Throckmorton Fungusleaves Creates a Tutorial on How to Transform Your Life

I wonder what he said to that duck? 

Welp, One Direction fans got a rude smack on the beak this week as they were informed Zayn Malik was leaving their favorite band...

I CAN BEARLY BELIEVE IT bear meme

While most everyone was by surprised by the news...

Sad Pepe gets carted off on a stretcher after news of Zayn Malik's departure from One Direction (via the internets)

It is not an exaggeration to say that many Directioners were nearly in a state of shock regarding this matter...

Well, anywhoo...  here is Gossip Goat's report in this week's episode of "GOSSIP GOAT STRIKES BACK! "





I can not tell you how grateful I am to have the insights of an entertainment reporter of Gossip Goat's caliber.  Without him I would be totally lost...

"I don't know what the shell is going on anymore" (created by an unknown genius)

Furthermore,  when it comes to matters of LIFE and LOVE, I am not one so bold to say,  "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE???  I AM!!!!"

WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?  I AM! gif

Which is why I defer to the wiser,  more experienced, better looking Lord Throckmorton Fungusleaves when it comes to these issues in his new tutorial on how to transform your life, overcome sadness, AND win the girl of your dreams.  Who the hell could ask for more than that?  You would have to be a fool not to watch the video below.

Richard Burnish hair flip gif

And with that we end this week's journey.  Until next time...

Thank you, and goodnight.

I Return (an explanation of my absence), ALSO A One Week Sabbatical From Discussing Justin Bieber, AND Bear Memes Are The Next Big Thing , PLUS: Absolutely Disgusting OR Absolutely Beautiful?

brand new Justin Bieber Stop!~Stop! gif

Welcome back, true believers.  How have you been??

"Sooo... how was school" meme  (created by an unknown genius)

Perhaps you have forgotten about me, as I  have not posted in many moons.  I am investigative reporter Jimmy Fungus (my slogan is:   "I investigate.  YOU get informed!").    And in today's post,  I thought, instead of talking about Justin Bieber, or Miley Cyrus, or Taylor Swift, or President Obama...  I would just explain why I have been away for so long...

You see...  as always...  there are many factors involved in such a thing.  My prolonged absence was brought about, partly by a combination of an inexplicable and debilitating bout of melancholia...

brand new BEAR meme I put together (with thanks to the brilliant photographers who snapped these amazing bear pictures and shared them on the internets)

(By the way, did I tell you that bear memes are the next big thing?)  But anywho,  I have not just been slacking like a sad sack of sludge.  I have also been working on things behind the scenes...  things that will make JimmyFungus.com  better than it was before...   BETTER,   STRONGER,   FASTER...

six million dollar man, bionic Family Guy meme "WE CAN REBUILD HIM.  WE HAVE THE TECHNOLOGY."

I am not going to go into any great deal about these top secret projects I have been engaged in to make JimmyFungus.com (as well as youtube.com/jimmyfungus) a more powerful force on the internets...


I will just say that when these projects are completed,  it will turn JimmyFungus.com into something ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL!...   or ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING!   Depending who's side you are on, I suppose...

absolutely disgusting OR absolutely beautiful?  gif

And in conclusion, that will end my brief, but exciting return to the internets...

wookie cat meme (via the internets)

Once again, thank you and please remember to support your local zoo...

YOU DISGUST ME baby meme (via the internets)

Stay classy, Chicago!