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| I gorillafied the "Get Hit with Paper Ball. Turn Around, Do Nothing." MEME |
Back in high school, I was the ultimate target—small, awkward, and always buried in my World History 101 book while everyone else was trying to figure out how to sneak cigarettes into gym class. Homeroom was my personal hell, thanks to Bradley Beehams, the king of subtle torture. He'd sit right behind me every single day and launch perfectly wadded paper balls at the back of my head like he was training for the NBA. "Hey Nerd, think fast!" he'd whisper, right before another soggy spitball bounced off my skull. I swear those things had their own gravitational pull toward my ears. By sophomore year, I had a permanent indent shaped like a crumpled math worksheet.
Then there was the infamous field trip to Springfield. I thought it would be a peaceful escape—maybe see some historic sites, grab a corn dog. Nope. Mork Borkadorkic claimed the seat behind me on the bus and spent the entire two-hour ride kicking the back of my seat like it owed him money. Thump. Thump. Thump. Every kick came with a running commentary: "This is for being smarter than me, robot boy!" I tried headphones, I tried ignoring it, I even tried politely asking him to stop. He just grinned and kicked harder. By the time we got to Springfield, my spine felt like it had been tenderized. I spent the whole trip pretending to admire Abraham Lincoln's hat while secretly plotting my revenge in binary code.
Those traumatic experiences didn't break me—they fueled me. The paper ball barrage and the endless seat-kicking became the inspiration for my breakout meme: "Get Hit With Paper Ball, Turn Around Do Nothing (gorillafied version)." It went viral, launching my website and Youtube channel to unparalleled fame and fortune.
And that's exactly why my stand-up routine at amateur night at the Barrel of Monkeys comedy club absolutely slays. I take the stage, still rocking that awkward high school vibe, and roast my bullies with lines like, "Bradley Beehams thought he was tough with his paper balls—joke's on him, I grew up to be a respected Youtuber and viral meme maker!" The crowd loses it every time I reenact Mork's bus kicks with exaggerated flailing. Who knew childhood trauma could turn into killer punchlines? Thanks, bullies—you made me the comedic genius I am today.
Then there was the infamous field trip to Springfield. I thought it would be a peaceful escape—maybe see some historic sites, grab a corn dog. Nope. Mork Borkadorkic claimed the seat behind me on the bus and spent the entire two-hour ride kicking the back of my seat like it owed him money. Thump. Thump. Thump. Every kick came with a running commentary: "This is for being smarter than me, robot boy!" I tried headphones, I tried ignoring it, I even tried politely asking him to stop. He just grinned and kicked harder. By the time we got to Springfield, my spine felt like it had been tenderized. I spent the whole trip pretending to admire Abraham Lincoln's hat while secretly plotting my revenge in binary code.
Those traumatic experiences didn't break me—they fueled me. The paper ball barrage and the endless seat-kicking became the inspiration for my breakout meme: "Get Hit With Paper Ball, Turn Around Do Nothing (gorillafied version)." It went viral, launching my website and Youtube channel to unparalleled fame and fortune.
And that's exactly why my stand-up routine at amateur night at the Barrel of Monkeys comedy club absolutely slays. I take the stage, still rocking that awkward high school vibe, and roast my bullies with lines like, "Bradley Beehams thought he was tough with his paper balls—joke's on him, I grew up to be a respected Youtuber and viral meme maker!" The crowd loses it every time I reenact Mork's bus kicks with exaggerated flailing. Who knew childhood trauma could turn into killer punchlines? Thanks, bullies—you made me the comedic genius I am today.
