Decision 2012: Wake Me Up When November Ends (Also, I give Mitt Romney advice on how to reboot his campaign)

Homer Simpson voting in the 2012 election for Barack Obama or Mitt Romney? (via The Simpsons)

Coming up on November whatever is the exciting American presidential election.

And America will attempt to make a decision which will hopefully move the country forward...

George Washington driving a Dodge in "Freedom" World Cup commercial (via lillianjessica.tumblr)

Most of the "experts" in the media have President Obama comfortably leading the challenger Mitt Romney, with his reelection chances looking quite good. Yes, the president is being portrayed as one major badass, and a pretty smooth dude...at least for now.

"Sorry it took so long to get you a copy of my birth certificate..."  President Obama too busy killing Osama bin Laden for FOX news.

You see... all hell broke loose, when a supposedly secretly taped video of Romney characterizing "47%" of the American public, in a way that was...not so nice.  His comments are being interpreted by many, including some on his side of the political spectrum, as an indication that he is out of touch...that he views almost half the American people in the same way Mr. Burns on FOX's  "The Simpsons" would view them (as boneheaded slackers looking for a handout).

"THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY" meme ~ Ron Burgundy/Will Ferrell

Whether the Romney in the video tape, was the real Mitt Romney, or whether he was just telling some wealthy donors what they wanted to hear, is hard to say.  But after the fallout from this vid, Mitt Romney is discovering that "shit happens" even to famous rich guys...

Randy Marsha of "South Park"..."SHIT HAPPENS." (newly invented meme)

So how can Mitt Romney change the course of his campaign at this late stage?

Randy Marsh of "South Park" CHANGE poster (created by an unknown genius)

So, what advice can I, James Earl Fungus I, offer to Republican nominee Mitt Romney (because I know he is wondering what I think)?

If I could go back in a time machine, I would tell him to never say anything in private he would not want to be heard saying in public...

the "STOP SAYING WORDS" llama

But it is too late for that, then isn't it?

So, the questions is...what can be done right NOW? 

Well, I think the only hope is for Mitt to somehow miraculously transform his image from an elitist, snobby rich guy, to a laid back, quasi-compassionate, man of the people.  Show us he can hob-knob with average Joe Bagadonuts American.  Show us he has a sense of humor.

"I HAD FUN ONCE AND IT WAS AWFUL." ~ Mitt Romney version

Mitt needs to let loose and have some fun.  Maybe even do something crazy, like let the family dog ride in the front seat of the car, instead of on the roof.

Other than that, I don't know what Mitt Romney can do.  He has pretty much screwed himself by opening his big mouth at the fundraiser with those hoighty-toighty rich donors.

Oh well.  Now for something, a little bit different...

Also, coming out in November is "Lincoln" directed by Steven Spielberg, and starring Daniel Day-Lewis as Abraham Lincoln.  I am really looking forward to this movie, so I figured today, instead of ending with the Song of the Day, we will end with the movie trailer of the day.  So without further ado, here it is...




Once again, true believers, God bless you, and please remember to support your local zoo.

Stay classy, Chicago!

Hottest Dance Moves Ever: I Make a New YouTube Video (but does anyone give a f*ck??)

Catie Wayne, aka Boxxy gif via youtube.com/anewhopeee

Hey, guise!! Guess what!? I, James Earl Fungus I,  have made a new youtube video, and I created this blog post to help publicize what I have done...

the "NOT A SINGLE F*CK WAS GIVEN THAT DAY" Dinosaur (found on the internets)

Anyway, as you may know...a short time ago, I began making youtube videos, in a quest to use yet another form of media to spread the teaching of Fung Fu (the Jimmy Fungus version of Kung Fu) to all corners of the globe. 

Since I started, I would say approximately half the comments I have gotten have been negative, and half have been positive.  The only problem is that all of the positive comments came from one source, Bersercules, the Berserk Herc (who is not even youtubing anymore). 

Sadly, it appears now I will be getting 100% negative comments, and the full blown hatred from all the unhuddled masses across the intertubes.

"If someone hates you for no reason, give that motherf*cker a reason." via someecards.com

So, what else is there to do, but create yet another exciting youtube video?  But I can't really take a lot of credit for this one...or really any credit.  I just molded together a bunch of clips, and gifs other people made and posted, with a song someone else created.  But anyway,  if I remember correctly, the title of the vid is "Best Dance Moves Ever" or something in that vein...





Best Dance Moves Ever Vid

"The Big Lebowski" dancing gif  (created by an unknown genius)

So without further ado, here is the gosh dang video... (Btw, the music track is "Bite Your Lip Get Up and Dance" by Elton John from his 1976 album "Blue Moves.")

Yeah,... I deleted this video when I was in a bad mood. Check out my youtube channel for other videos...

Well, that is all I have for you today true believers.

Once again, thank you all, and please remember to support your local zoo...

Stay classy, Chicago!

Religion and/or Belief in God vs. Agnosticism and/or Atheism: Another One of My "Most Controversial Post" Posts (religious fanaticism is also briefly discussed)

Some turd-slurping troll e-mailed me to complain about the picture I originally had in this spot, so here is a picture of Shibe Doge  instead

It's Part 2 of my last "Most Controversial Post" post 
 Demi Lovato Responds to X Factor Contestant (some say she got "owned"); ALSO, Chloe Moretz and Boxxy Respond to Hitler, Big Bird, and the Cookie Monster: This is one of my "most controversial post" posts (but it's only Part One, so it's not THAT controversial, actually.) which was actually Part 3 in a series... So, that would actually make this Part 4.  But as Lord Throckmorton Fungusleaves would say, "That is neither here nor there."


What IS before us, are these intense issues which we are going to discuss...religion, religious fanaticism, agnosticism, and atheism.  I pointed that out in the post's title, if anyone was paying attention. 

We have already dealt with this issue of religious fanaticism, with the 9/11 "Hey Kool-Aid!" meme.  So, let's cross that off the list.

To be fair, let's discuss the rest of the issues in alphabetical order...





Agnosticism, and/or Atheism

ancient alien atheists expert Giorgio A. Tsoukalos

Atheism can be a very controversial subject...

"Atheism: Because Babies are Tasty" meme

So, that is why we need someone the caliber of Neil deGrasse to explain this to us.  Dr. Tyson is an agnostic, though he explains that he is "claimed" by atheists.

Neil deGrasse Tyson: "HE CAME TO TEACH US THINGS."

Enough of my endless chuntering, check out the video below...





Well said, Dr. Tyson.  Well said!  Now let's move on to our next subject...





Belief in God
Well, you probably thought I would find some world famous Christian guy to defend the believers' point of view, but I am going to surprise you, by choosing a world famous Muslim guy to do it instead.

Check out this remarkable speech by Muhammad Ali...





But whatever anyone on either side says, it seems Jesus always has the last laugh...

Jesus: "Your girl screams my name..." (creator unknown)

Welp, I guess that last part of this post wasn't very nice...

disappointed sloth meme (found on the internets)

Are you all disappointed in me?  Well, I am an objective investigative reporter, so I am not going to take sides on any of this...

Bill Cosby:  "If God isn't real then how did beep boopity flip flappity gumbo chops?" (found on the internets)

I am just going to say I am a BillCosbyist, and leave it at that...

Anywho, that will end today's magnificent journey.

Once again, thank you, and please remember to support your local zoo.

Stay classy, Chicago!

Demi Lovato Responds to X Factor Contestant (some say she got "owned"); ALSO, Chloe Moretz and Boxxy Respond to Hitler, Big Bird, and the Cookie Monster: This is one of my "most controversial post" posts (but it's only Part One, so it's not THAT controversial, actually.)

Demi Lovato, Britney Spears, Simon Cowell, Spiderman, and a bald guy, on The X Factor

The X Factor premiered last night, but my tv is so darn broke, not even Spiderman could fix it, so I didn't get to watch it, but I'm sure it was very exciting.  Anywho, the internet is abuzz with Demi Lovato supposedly getting "owned" by a contestant on the X Factor.  More on that in a bit...

But FIRST we are going to do this...  See, this is Part 1 of Part 3 of my series of "most controversial post" posts.  Since this is only Part 1 of Part 3 and not Part 2, which would actually be Part 4 (but, now we're getting ahead of ourselves, aren't we?), it will not be that controversial.  So, if you were planning on saying "well, that wasn't that controversial" in the comments section, you don't have to.  But, if you want to, I suppose that is your right.  It would just be kind of redundant, because I already pointed that out.

Anywho, i've been wanting to make these Chloe Moretz, Boxxy, Hitler, Big Bird, and the Cookie Monster memes for sometime now..  But for whatever reason, never got around to it now.

So without further ado, here they are...






Chloe Moretz and Boxxy React to Big Bird, and the Cookie Monster Canoeing with Hitler

Chloe Moretz reacting to Big Bird, Hitler, the Cookie Monster, and some little green muppet guy

Boxxy reacting to Big Bird, Hitler, the Cookie Monster, and some little green guy (I don't know who he is)

Demi Lovato Gets "Owned"?

Demi Lovato gets her jimmies rustled by a contestant on The X Factor

Welp, some people are making a big deal about this.  Seems a contestant on The X Factor mouthed off at Demi Lovato.  Anywho,  I will just post the video down below, and let you come to your own conclusions...  And THEN (this is exciting)  I will post Independent Presidential candidate Abraham Fungus Jr.'s reaction,... his new "I Have a Dream" speech...



Independent presidential candidate Abraham Fungus Jr.'s "I Have a Dream Speech"









Well, that ends another brilliant day here at JimmyFungus.com.  Once again, God bless you all, and please remember to support your local zoo.

Stay classy, Chicago!

Obama Will Win: I personally guarantee an election victory for President Obama (If I am wrong feel free to sue me); Also...The CLONKED MY BONKERS Rage Sweeps the Internets

What are President Obama's chances in real life of being re-elected?  Well, pretty good according to the very well respected website fivethirtyeight.com.  SEE:  The Simple Case for Why Obama Is the Favorite Traditionally, a candidates' support is overrated immediately after their convention.  After the Republican convention,  Romney was virtually tied in the polls with Obama.  If tying the president is an overstatement of the support that actually exists for Romney,  it is a fairly dismal possibility that he is going to get over that hump, and overtake the president by election day.  Alright, let's learn a little bit more.  SEE:  Conventions May Put Obama in Front-Runner’s Position  Polls are indicating, Obama is getting a bounce from his convention, which will put him in a front-runner position, forcing team Romney, to play catch up vs. a sitting president.

President Obama in real life

Romney, does have one advantage.  His side will have more money to work with, thanks to the Citizens United ruling by the Supreme Court.  But what really is there, for the Romney supporters to put in a political ad about Obama, that the American people haven't already heard a gorillion times?  George W. Bush was able to win close elections by mobilizing his base.  However, the true believers of the Republican party are really Christian Evangelicals.   They are the ones that went out, and busted their rumps for President Bush.  Mitt Romney is not an Evangelical, and has flip flopped on the issues that are most important to them.  Paul Ryan might be more their style, but he is not an Evangelical either.  Ryan is Catholic, and more famous for his desire to slash social programs, than his stance on social issues.  I personally don't see the Evangelical churches working with the same fervor for Romney-Ryan, as they did for Bush-Cheney.

BLAH BLAH BLAH, long story short...  President Obama is going to be re-elected.  Sorry to ruin the suspense for ya all.  (DISCLAIMER:  I have not really factored in the effect Independent presidential candidate Abraham Fungus Jr. will have on all this, since the media universally ignores him...  Yeah.  So, maybe I'm wrong.)

CLONKED MY BONKERS

There is a new craze that has just hit the internets.  It is the CLONKED MY BONKERS craze.  As far as I can tell...getting your bonkers clonked, is sort of like getting your jimmies rustled.  SEE:  That Really Rustled My Jimmies:  The Complete Collection

Anyway, here are some examples of this exciting new meme...

the THAT REALLY CLONKED MY BONKERS gorilla

the YOU JUST CLONKED MY BONKERS bear

BONKERS STATUS: CLONKED

Well kids, I don't know who is directly responsible for all this bonkers clonking...  But as soon as I find out,  I will get back to you dear readers, and you will be the first ones to get the scoop on it.








Once again, God bless you, and please remember to support your local zoo.

Stay classy, Chicago!

Tasmanian Devils Are Being Less Devilish (Tasmanian devils becoming kinder and gentler to survive as a species); ALSO, I extrapolate on "Fung Fu", and exactly what it is (but honey badger doesn't care)

Perhaps you have read my headline Tasmanian Devils Are Being Less Devilish (Tasmanian devils are becoming kinder and gentler in an effort to survive as a species), and you said to yourself, "Hmmmm.  What that's all about?"  Well,  even if you didn't, I am just going to assume that's what has happened, and get on with our story.  It appears Tasmanian devils are learning a lesson that perhaps, we humans need to re-learn.  They are becoming less aggressive, for otherwise there might not be Tasmanian devils anymore.  SEE: Gentler Tasmanian devils offer hope for species’ future   It seems that these once very ferocious beasts have been afflicted with cancerous tumors on their beautiful faces.  This sucks for them in general, but especially for the more alpha devils who like to bite their fellow devils on the face, but which spreads the cancer to THEM faster, leaving, more of the gentler, more passive devils around then the badass devils.  Anyway, you don't have to be Bill  Nye the Science Guy to figure out what I am getting at here.

What if something similar happened with regards to us humans?  For example, what if every time some miscreant took out a semi-automatic rifle, and shot some of their poor innocent fellow humans, the victim humans unleashed these hideous, grotesque farts, much like the honey badger (more on this in a bit), which would melt the gun wielding madman's face off?  Or if at least, we were like Cheech and Chong in "The Corsican Brothers", and when we hurt one of our dear brothers or sisters, we would actually feel the pain, that we had attempted to inflict...

The Brothers Duel Cheech & Chong's The Corsican Brothers at MOVIECLIPS.com

Yes, dear friends, think how swiftly our world would shape up, if every one of us, were forced to walk a mile or two in our brother, or sisters' moccasins. But I digress.   The honey badger has many more weapons at it's disposal, than it's devastating super farts.  Just ask, Gorilla Bananas at http://japingape.blogspot.com who actually suggested  I watch this video The Crazy Nastyass Honey Badger (original narration by Randall). Ahhh, what the hell, I will just post that video for you as well...




So, as fate would have it, Gorilla Bananas of http://japingape.blogspot.com suggested that I heartily dedicate myself to publicizing the honey badger and what a badass it is.  Maybe he was joking, but I took him literally.  Soooo  here we are...

the honey badger doesn't care gif (created by an unknown genius)

the honey badger doesn't give a shit (found on the internets)

Ok, so many of you have read this much, and you are saying,  "Yeah?  So what?  Who cares?"  Which leads me to a deeper explanation of Fung Fu (the Jimmy Fungus version of Kung Fu) which I invented with help from Jax and Bersercules in this article here Decision 2012: The U.S. Presidential Election (Obama is ahead at the moment, so expect the GOP to trot out the "Hitler is Obama's father" stuff); THEN some brief thoughts on "The Hunger Games", ALSO Jax and Bersercules inspire me to invent Fung Fu, PLUS Suzi Quatro and Joan Jett.

Which leads us to our Song of the Day...




Thank you for reading. Once again God bless you, and please remember to support your local zoo.

Stay classy, Chicago!

Political Convention Craziness Continues, AND Ron Paul Announces There Will be NO Third Party Run (Abraham Fungus Jr. calls him "cowardly")

Clint Eastwood talking to the chair from "Pee Wee's Playhouse" television program

Welp, hello again true believers.  We have certainly seen and heard a lot of craziness at the political conventions so far this election season, from Clint Eastwood talking to a chair at the Republican convention, to...well, I can't think of anything crazy that has happened at the Democratic convention so far...but just stay tuned.  I believe Bill Clinton is giving a speech tonight, and he has been known for being a pretty wild, and crazy guy at times.  Let's see what he can come up with... if anything...

"Y WUD U DO DAT?" cat (found on the internets)

Now, let us jump head first into our main topic...  "OH GOD WHY, Ron?"  Ron Paul made it pretty clear during his appearance on last night's episode of the Tonight Show with Jay Leno, that he will NOT launch a third party run for the White House.  (SEE: Ron Paul on Leno: Confirms He Will NOT Run 3rd Party)

I am extremely disappointed about this.  We have heard so much saber rattling from Jesse Ventura and others about challenging the status quo with a third party run, but it appears it was just a lot of blowing of smoke, and huffing and puffing, because when the chips are down, and the time comes to throw their hat in the ring, they all say they don't have a chance, so why even bother?  It seems like the American people are suffering from new heights of apathy, as everyone is too disheartened to even attempt to challenge the power elite.

Luckily JimmyFungus.com endorsed presidential candidate Abraham Fungus Jr. is not afraid to fight.  Abraham Fungus Jr. expressed his displeasure about the recent course of events, and even called Ron Paul "cowardly" in his most recent statement.  See the video below so that you may see and hear what I am talking about here...



Well said, Abraham Fungus Jr., who is also holding his political convention this week.  If you don't believe me, check out of a photo of some of the Fungus convention festivities below...

"You said everyone would be here." ~ sad cat meme

Well there is so much going on in the world that it is positively insane... But that will just have to wait for the next thrilling exciting episode at JimmyFungus.com...

Because now, we are going to play ourselves out with a song...

Lit in "My Own Worst Enemy"

That will end our journey today.  God bless you, and please remember to support your local zoo.

Stay classy, Chicago!